cooking sunday dinner?!?

I have always thought for years that the moment I became a wife somehow the powers of amazing cooking would be endowed into my hands, a right of passage right??? I figured, I make the commitment to marriage, God gives me the skills. I have learned through 'experience', that brutal, harsh, and most often undesired teacher, that well life couldn't be that simple. Julia Child wasn't magical from the start, in fact, she couldn't even cut an onion, and went on to mess up plenty along the way, but she didn't give up.

Today I felt the desire to cook a nice sunday dinner, with a birthday in lieu, and family coming to join, a time to make things especially nice! What have I learned from today? Things never work out as I plan, and more importantly NEVER, and I repeat NEVER try out three new recipes you are unfamiliar with in one meal, you set yourself up for dissapointment. The menu seemed so lush I had planned: Pot Roast with a sweet tomato olive tapenade, roasted potatoes in olive oil & pepper, Sweet dinner rolls, spinach salad with parmesan & candied almonds, and last but not least, dessert: Sour Cream chocolate cake, with a fudge icing. Well, this overly amazing meal plan came out anything but amazing.

With a new 9-12 church schedule and dinner at 5:30pm, I was delighted to know I would have all the time needed to perfect this quest. How did it go? When I arrived home at 12:30 I realized that I hadn't started the roast, a bit of discouragement set in, but lest I fail I went to work. The phone rang, mother in law Karen, had some BBQ beef she had been simmering all night, and was so excited to share. Alright Karen, thanks for making up for my lack of preparation, yes maam! So with the main dish on the way, I could relax and enjoy making some of my favorite things cake and rolls! I thought things would be easy, but as I began the roll dough, I realized, 'hey, you've actually never made rolls before.' And actually, 'I am not so certain if you did that right' feeling set in all along the way, sheesh. The recipe called for way more flour than I would have thought, I didn't follow my intuition, and hence, over dry tough dough that didn't rise. Arghhh, 'its ok' I tell myself. Nothing makes up for a not so good meal than an amazing cake. As I entered the world of homemade cakes, I was enthralled from start to finish, dough, a bit thick but divine! If the dough is good, how can the cake be bad. I did feel like the cake was low in butter, but I didn't realize how low, until it baked, and came out well, sort of dry and blahhh! Not the creamy moisture that sour cream should provide.

Between rising of dough and baking, the potatoes needed attention. Typically roasted potatoes take quite a time in the oven and don't seem to be soft on the inside, to help this along, I took the inspiration to boil them for a few minutes, softening the inside, and then go for the oven. Well, it kind of workws, in fact this was the most redeeming and well eaten portion of the meal, but the potatoes did get a bit mushy for oven-roasted.

Back to rolls, although dare I mention the catastrophe they were. It would have been better to have thrown away the dough long before the complete disappointment, they were disadvantaged from the beginning. But like my mom always taught me, never throw anything away that has potential. I tried to find potential in dead dough, there in lied my error. So with my over-dry dead dough, I attempted to shape them into rolls, hoping the heat would somehow miraculously turn them into something they were not, a divine goddess of buttery smooth goodness. No such luck, turns out a rough start ends in a rough end. They did have a slight redeeming value despite their topsy turvy lives, but dry, dense and over-baked would be the most honest evaluation.

The only thing worse than one failure is, well, three, and all in one night. Happy birthday, not, yucky, tasteless, and dry! But in all the mess of what I sometimes call my life, I take solace in one thing. It's a small thing, and silly as it may seem, it has come at different moments of life and inspired me to new heights. So whether you put in clout in fortune cookies, horoscopes what have you, I think god speaks to me at times through the wrappers of Dove chocolates. He truly must know, that when all is lost, when utter despair has set in, that nothing can console our broken spirit like a piece of divine chocolate. So let me know what god told me after this failure of a meal, as my fingers opened the wrapper, 'Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."

Really, it's true, that in the darkest moments of cooking, in the utter failures of new challenges, a chocolate wrapper provides the wisdom that my life needs. The buddhist belief everything in life is their teacher. Well dove, thank for teaching, god thanks for sharing, husband thanks for dealing with my craziness, and still liking my not so good food.