Simplicity

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" Leonardo Da Vinci

Of all people, really, Leonardo telling us to simplify? If his paintings are indication of simplicity than I wonder what my works would say about me. This week in the yoga classes I have taught I have shared this quote. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite offering these words to others, when I myself have a hard time living them. But then I realize the words of inspiration are not from a perfect teacher, but someone learning each day. The longer I teach, the more I realize how little I really know...

Bridger and motherhood humbles me every day. As soon as I start to think I might know what I am doing, I realize very abruptly I don't. Today I am sitting here writing this post in my full motherhood glory: I haven't showered yet and its 4:50pm, I feel ready to explode from holding off going to the bathroom an hour too long, my undergarments are all twisted and bunched up and I'm too tired to fix them, I have a huge zit in the middle of my cheek and haven't covered it up, and I have Bridger dried pee on my shirt with some leftover cookie dough (something I actually did accomplish today).

Everyday I review my list of priorities to get done and figure out which one I can let go of. I tell myself it's ok, and then something happens. Somewhere in my mind I suddenly get feelings of inspiration that somehow, somewhere, extra time will manifest itself and I will be able to accomplish all the priorities plus the extras I thought I had to let go of. In my superpower strength I start more projects I could possibly finish, and then it comes. The needs of my baby override everything, right down to looking presentable, or being covered in pee or better smeared poo.
Today, I surrender, so there you go Leonardo, simplicity really IS the ULTIMATE SOPHISTICATION. Do you think he had pee and poo on him when he said that?

Every day I am humbled, not only because I realize my own inadequacies, but more importantly I have been blessed with the sweetest little boy on this earth. I can genuinely say he is the sweetest little man, he is my son, and I love him.
Nothing is simple about being a momma, no matter how I slice it or dice it, it is the work of sacrifice, patience, love, and it never really ends from one day to the next. But I can't go back, I wouldn't want to go back, to the way things use to be. Not when I look at my sweet baby,hear his giggles, laughing, and see his smile.

My first Vacation

Being a new baby on this earth brings with it lots of "Firsts". This weekend I went on my very first vacation to St. George. Daddy decided to take mommy for her birthday and Mother's Day gift this year. It was well deserved with all the hard work I do...Me and Daddy at the Bear Paw Cafe for my first time, yummy french toast, or so Daddy told me.
My very first time in the swimming pool.
I liked it better out of the water with Mommy holding me.
My very first bike ride in my new bike trailer.The first time I saw a house with all sorts of man made animals. My first time to a yummy Thai Restaurant, Benja. Atleast I think it's yummy by the time it gets to me. We watched some individuals finish the IronMan, maybe someday I will be an IronMan.
Or maybe I'll just take a snoozer.

A Mother's Work

Today is indeed a special day, a day I have longed for, a day I have prayed for, and a day I have patiently awaited. Today for the very first time ON this Mother's Day, I AM A MOTHER. Not mother of a pet duck, not a mother in spirit only, and not a mother of a zygote, no, I am a mother of a 4 month old beautiful, healthy, human baby boy. At times of my prolonged singlehood I often wondered how or when this would happen. And then one day..... this Mother's DAY...... it is really here, I am a mother.

Not only am I a new mother this Mother's Day but I am one of the privileged few that is fortunate enough to dedicate my work fully to being at home and raising my little one.
As I contemplate the work of a mother, I reminisce about the previous work I have done prior to mammahood. I have worked full or part time in some capacity since I was 11 years old. Starting with babysitting, cleaning, then working up to retail, food service, customer service, and eventually a career in banking. After working to graduate college debt free, I worked as a banker for 7 years at Zions Bank and UBS. Even now I still work as a yoga instructor and own a small cookie business. I am grateful for what I have learned and the skills I have developed by working. But now as I look at my 4 month old I realize none of the work I have ever done compares to the work I do as a mother.

From what I can tell, there are some key differences between the work of a banker vs the work of a mother, spare me to share just a few...

The work schedule of a banker requires 40-50 hours a week, the work of a mother requires 168 hours a week (24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
The work day of a banker ends at 5 or 6pm, the work day of a mother ends well, never.
The compensation of a banker includes a generous annual salary paid predictably biweekly, the compensation of a mother: kisses, smiles, and coos that come spontaneously day or night.
The dress code of a banker: business casual slacks and a pressed shirt, the dress code of a mother: a shirt with no spit up and not too tight pants.
The tasks of a banker: decisioning loans based on credit worthiness, ability to repay, and collateral; the tasks of a mother, well in a word endless (feed the baby, change diapers, bathe the baby, playtime, read, clean, do dishes, do laundry, cook)
The conversations of a banker: discussing plans for the weekend with coworkers, the conversations of mother, moo moo, baah baah, laa laa to baby.
A prized skill of a banker typing 55 wpm, a prized skill of a mother, changing diaper a diaper in under a minute.
The extra overtime work of a banker resulting in bonuses and extra pay, the overtime of a mother sleepless nights to avoid a screaming baby.
The benefits of a banker, 3 weeks paid vacation, health insurance, and retirement plans,

the benefits of a mother...


priceless.
Being a new mother is at times challenging beyond what I experienced as a banker, and beyond what I could have fathomed, but I wouldn't trade any of it, the highs or the lows because it is all part of the experience, the one we call motherhood.

Sacred, revered, motherhood.

This Mother's Day I look at my sweet baby, and I realize with a greater conviction than I have ever felt before in my life that indeed, truly, most definitely,


I am a mother....


and I am blessed.

I am 32 flavors and then some...

Ani DiFranco said it first "I am 32 flavors and then some...". There aren't any words more accurate at describing my present state of being, on the crux of 33 years on this earth, I truly am 32 flavors and then some. On the 3rd day of may 2011 I will have been on this earth 33 years. Since my 30th birthday, 3 years ago, I have gone from just me to a family of 3. Today I have a 3 month old, Micah, and me! Truly, I am blessed.

You might be a new mother IF...

...you discover your boobs actually have a crucial function other than aesthetic appeal, and get touched more than a porn star.
...the highlight of your day has now become your babies bowel movement.
...you discover you have been wearing your underwear inside out all day and don't bother to change it.
...you now understand why people make casseroles and freeze them.
...you feel like going to the bathroom alone is a luxury.
...you have a ravenous appetite with no time to eat.
...what used to take two hours to do can really be done in 20 minutes.
...you are now skilled at accomplishing just about any task with one hand.
...you realize crying is just noise.
...you discover that best parenting advice is none.
...you crave a moment to yourself only to miss your baby as soon as you leave.
...you enjoy downloading nursery songs on your iPod.
...you cry at huggies commercials and hallmark cards.
...there are a plethora of quotes that now take on a whole new dimension of understanding.
...you suddenly realize how selfish you have been your whole life.
...you can't remember the last time you slept 8 hours straight.
...you have changed your opinion on clothe vs. disposable diapers.
...your standard of clean know entails anything not covered in breast milk or poo.
...you suddenly realize that pony tails are a new fashion statement.
...you find yourself contemplating daily how there are so many humans on the earth.
...your daytime nap was longer than your night time nap.
...every room in your house has some sort of baby sitting device.
...a good day is when you get a shower and breakfast before noon.
...you feel intimately bonded to complete strangers at the grocery stores once you start discussing motherhood.
...your husband complains about waking up in the night and being tired.
...at moments you actually miss getting up and going to work.
...you now understand why your older friend and siblings with children constantly told you to "Enjoy your freedom" when you where single.
...you now find yourself telling your single friends to "Enjoy their freedom."
...you have removed the phrase from your vocabulary "I will never have one of THOSE children."
...no two days are alike.
...the highlight of your Friday night is bath time.
...you find the ice cream conveniently placed in the cupboard.
...you realize in retrospect that your pregnancy wasn't THAT bad.
...you have an abundance of new baby gadgets but no time to put together or use them.
...you spend more time each day communicating in baby babble than the English language.

And finally you might be a new mother IF.... just one smile can melt your heart and make any sacrifice in the world all worth it.