I know what you must be thinking right now, wow, she is right up there with Enos, spending the whole day in humble petition with the Lord. Truth is no I am not on my knees because I am in humble penitence. We can choose to be humble, or we are compelled to be humble.
Today I was the latter of the two, compelled to spend the day on my knees (and probably not just today). My options were simply this: rely on your husband or 5 month old baby to carry you to the potty in the middle of the night, get a catheter, or get on your hands and crawl to the toilet. So again I chose the latter option: to crawl. With two feet bruised badly enough that walking is not an option, the idea to crawl came like a stroke of genius in the night "sure you feet don't work, but hello YOU STILL HAVE KNEES!"
This much time spent on my knees has taught me many lessons. Spare me to share a few:
1. The lower size counters custom designed for midgets could have really come in handy for making dinner tonight, lucky for me I could still reach the fridge.
2. Rollerblading knee pads are a way better option than oven mits ace bandaged to the knees for protection from hardwood and tile floors.
3. Scooting on your bum also works helps when your knees get sore and tired.
4. Husbands do not like to be incessantly bossed around about 'how to do something' when you can't do it yourself.
3. Mind over matter people, if you really need to accomplish something, you can always find a way.
4. You get to see the world through a new set of eyes, similar to a small child or midget, and know what its like to be looked down upon.
5. You face the cold hard truth of how dirty your floor really are and inside the kitchen cabinets at hip level.
6. Functional feet are strongly unappreciated on a consistent basis.
7. For once a car ride was the only option in getting from point A to point B than running, walking or biking.
6. Pretty sure that walking on your knees burns way more calories than walking on you feet.
7. The list of essential to do's, really not as long as I make it.
8. Less is more.
9. Yoga truly can be adapted to suit all bodies, even ones without working feet.
10. It's a great reason to keep your husband home from work.
11. Living in the moment is better than anticipating the non return of useable feet
12. The world might be a more compassionate place if everyone spent a day on their knees.
13. Navigating a wheelchair = not as easy as it looks.
14. Being pushed in a wheelchair = really kind of fun.
15. You can laugh or you can cry but if you do them together it might come out your nose.
16. I still take this over how your body feels the day after giving birth.
17. Having injured feet does not affect my milk supply.
18. Less mobility = Less distraction and more quality time Bridger.
20. Asking for help from others, not as hard as I make it and sometimes absolutely needed.
Altogether I would mark this day as a success in the history books. In fact it was such a success I think I will give it a try again tomorrow.
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 15, 2011
Simplicity
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" Leonardo Da Vinci
Of all people, really, Leonardo telling us to simplify? If his paintings are indication of simplicity than I wonder what my works would say about me. This week in the yoga classes I have taught I have shared this quote. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite offering these words to others, when I myself have a hard time living them. But then I realize the words of inspiration are not from a perfect teacher, but someone learning each day. The longer I teach, the more I realize how little I really know...
Bridger and motherhood humbles me every day. As soon as I start to think I might know what I am doing, I realize very abruptly I don't. Today I am sitting here writing this post in my full motherhood glory: I haven't showered yet and its 4:50pm, I feel ready to explode from holding off going to the bathroom an hour too long, my undergarments are all twisted and bunched up and I'm too tired to fix them, I have a huge zit in the middle of my cheek and haven't covered it up, and I have Bridger dried pee on my shirt with some leftover cookie dough (something I actually did accomplish today).
Everyday I review my list of priorities to get done and figure out which one I can let go of. I tell myself it's ok, and then something happens. Somewhere in my mind I suddenly get feelings of inspiration that somehow, somewhere, extra time will manifest itself and I will be able to accomplish all the priorities plus the extras I thought I had to let go of. In my superpower strength I start more projects I could possibly finish, and then it comes. The needs of my baby override everything, right down to looking presentable, or being covered in pee or better smeared poo.
Today, I surrender, so there you go Leonardo, simplicity really IS the ULTIMATE SOPHISTICATION. Do you think he had pee and poo on him when he said that?
Every day I am humbled, not only because I realize my own inadequacies, but more importantly I have been blessed with the sweetest little boy on this earth. I can genuinely say he is the sweetest little man, he is my son, and I love him.
Nothing is simple about being a momma, no matter how I slice it or dice it, it is the work of sacrifice, patience, love, and it never really ends from one day to the next. But I can't go back, I wouldn't want to go back, to the way things use to be. Not when I look at my sweet baby,
hear his giggles, laughing, and see his smile.
Of all people, really, Leonardo telling us to simplify? If his paintings are indication of simplicity than I wonder what my works would say about me. This week in the yoga classes I have taught I have shared this quote. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite offering these words to others, when I myself have a hard time living them. But then I realize the words of inspiration are not from a perfect teacher, but someone learning each day. The longer I teach, the more I realize how little I really know...
Bridger and motherhood humbles me every day. As soon as I start to think I might know what I am doing, I realize very abruptly I don't. Today I am sitting here writing this post in my full motherhood glory: I haven't showered yet and its 4:50pm, I feel ready to explode from holding off going to the bathroom an hour too long, my undergarments are all twisted and bunched up and I'm too tired to fix them, I have a huge zit in the middle of my cheek and haven't covered it up, and I have Bridger dried pee on my shirt with some leftover cookie dough (something I actually did accomplish today).
Everyday I review my list of priorities to get done and figure out which one I can let go of. I tell myself it's ok, and then something happens. Somewhere in my mind I suddenly get feelings of inspiration that somehow, somewhere, extra time will manifest itself and I will be able to accomplish all the priorities plus the extras I thought I had to let go of. In my superpower strength I start more projects I could possibly finish, and then it comes. The needs of my baby override everything, right down to looking presentable, or being covered in pee or better smeared poo.
Today, I surrender, so there you go Leonardo, simplicity really IS the ULTIMATE SOPHISTICATION. Do you think he had pee and poo on him when he said that?
Every day I am humbled, not only because I realize my own inadequacies, but more importantly I have been blessed with the sweetest little boy on this earth. I can genuinely say he is the sweetest little man, he is my son, and I love him.
Nothing is simple about being a momma, no matter how I slice it or dice it, it is the work of sacrifice, patience, love, and it never really ends from one day to the next. But I can't go back, I wouldn't want to go back, to the way things use to be. Not when I look at my sweet baby,
hear his giggles, laughing, and see his smile.
May 9, 2011
My first Vacation
Being a new baby on this earth brings with it lots of "Firsts". This weekend I went on my very first vacation to St. George. Daddy decided to take mommy for her birthday and Mother's Day gift this year. It was well deserved with all the hard work I do...
Me and Daddy at the Bear Paw Cafe for my first time, yummy french toast, or so Daddy told me.
My very first time in the swimming pool.
I liked it better out of the water with Mommy holding me.
My very first bike ride in my new bike trailer.
The first time I saw a house with all sorts of man made animals. 
My first time to a yummy Thai Restaurant, Benja. Atleast I think it's yummy by the time it gets to me. We watched some individuals finish the IronMan, maybe someday I will be an IronMan.
Or maybe I'll just take a snoozer.
Me and Daddy at the Bear Paw Cafe for my first time, yummy french toast, or so Daddy told me.
My very first time in the swimming pool.
I liked it better out of the water with Mommy holding me.
My very first bike ride in my new bike trailer.
The first time I saw a house with all sorts of man made animals. 
My first time to a yummy Thai Restaurant, Benja. Atleast I think it's yummy by the time it gets to me. We watched some individuals finish the IronMan, maybe someday I will be an IronMan.Or maybe I'll just take a snoozer.
May 8, 2011
A Mother's Work
Today is indeed a special day, a day I have longed for, a day I have prayed for, and a day I have patiently awaited. Today for the very first time ON this Mother's Day, I AM A MOTHER. Not mother of a pet duck, not a mother in spirit only, and not a mother of a zygote, no, I am a mother of a 4 month old beautiful, healthy, human baby boy. At times of my prolonged singlehood I often wondered how or when this would happen. And then one day..... this Mother's DAY...... it is really here, I am a mother.
Not only am I a new mother this Mother's Day but I am one of the privileged few that is fortunate enough to dedicate my work fully to being at home and raising my little one.
As I contemplate the work of a mother, I reminisce about the previous work I have done prior to mammahood. I have worked full or part time in some capacity since I was 11 years old. Starting with babysitting, cleaning, then working up to retail, food service, customer service, and eventually a career in banking. After working to graduate college debt free, I worked as a banker for 7 years at Zions Bank and UBS. Even now I still work as a yoga instructor and own a small cookie business. I am grateful for what I have learned and the skills I have developed by working. But now as I look at my 4 month old I realize none of the work I have ever done compares to the work I do as a mother.
From what I can tell, there are some key differences between the work of a banker vs the work of a mother, spare me to share just a few...
The work schedule of a banker requires 40-50 hours a week, the work of a mother requires 168 hours a week (24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
The work day of a banker ends at 5 or 6pm, the work day of a mother ends well, never.
The compensation of a banker includes a generous annual salary paid predictably biweekly, the compensation of a mother: kisses, smiles, and coos that come spontaneously day or night.
The dress code of a banker: business casual slacks and a pressed shirt, the dress code of a mother: a shirt with no spit up and not too tight pants.
The tasks of a banker: decisioning loans based on credit worthiness, ability to repay, and collateral; the tasks of a mother, well in a word endless (feed the baby, change diapers, bathe the baby, playtime, read, clean, do dishes, do laundry, cook)
The conversations of a banker: discussing plans for the weekend with coworkers, the conversations of mother, moo moo, baah baah, laa laa to baby.
A prized skill of a banker typing 55 wpm, a prized skill of a mother, changing diaper a diaper in under a minute.
The extra overtime work of a banker resulting in bonuses and extra pay, the overtime of a mother sleepless nights to avoid a screaming baby.
The benefits of a banker, 3 weeks paid vacation, health insurance, and retirement plans,
the benefits of a mother...
priceless.
Being a new mother is at times challenging beyond what I experienced as a banker, and beyond what I could have fathomed, but I wouldn't trade any of it, the highs or the lows because it is all part of the experience, the one we call motherhood.
Sacred, revered, motherhood.
This Mother's Day I look at my sweet baby, and I realize with a greater conviction than I have ever felt before in my life that indeed, truly, most definitely,
I am a mother....
and I am blessed.
Not only am I a new mother this Mother's Day but I am one of the privileged few that is fortunate enough to dedicate my work fully to being at home and raising my little one.
As I contemplate the work of a mother, I reminisce about the previous work I have done prior to mammahood. I have worked full or part time in some capacity since I was 11 years old. Starting with babysitting, cleaning, then working up to retail, food service, customer service, and eventually a career in banking. After working to graduate college debt free, I worked as a banker for 7 years at Zions Bank and UBS. Even now I still work as a yoga instructor and own a small cookie business. I am grateful for what I have learned and the skills I have developed by working. But now as I look at my 4 month old I realize none of the work I have ever done compares to the work I do as a mother.
From what I can tell, there are some key differences between the work of a banker vs the work of a mother, spare me to share just a few...
The work schedule of a banker requires 40-50 hours a week, the work of a mother requires 168 hours a week (24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
The work day of a banker ends at 5 or 6pm, the work day of a mother ends well, never.
The compensation of a banker includes a generous annual salary paid predictably biweekly, the compensation of a mother: kisses, smiles, and coos that come spontaneously day or night.
The dress code of a banker: business casual slacks and a pressed shirt, the dress code of a mother: a shirt with no spit up and not too tight pants.
The tasks of a banker: decisioning loans based on credit worthiness, ability to repay, and collateral; the tasks of a mother, well in a word endless (feed the baby, change diapers, bathe the baby, playtime, read, clean, do dishes, do laundry, cook)
The conversations of a banker: discussing plans for the weekend with coworkers, the conversations of mother, moo moo, baah baah, laa laa to baby.
A prized skill of a banker typing 55 wpm, a prized skill of a mother, changing diaper a diaper in under a minute.
The extra overtime work of a banker resulting in bonuses and extra pay, the overtime of a mother sleepless nights to avoid a screaming baby.
The benefits of a banker, 3 weeks paid vacation, health insurance, and retirement plans,
the benefits of a mother...
priceless.
Being a new mother is at times challenging beyond what I experienced as a banker, and beyond what I could have fathomed, but I wouldn't trade any of it, the highs or the lows because it is all part of the experience, the one we call motherhood.Sacred, revered, motherhood.
This Mother's Day I look at my sweet baby, and I realize with a greater conviction than I have ever felt before in my life that indeed, truly, most definitely,
I am a mother....
and I am blessed.
May 2, 2011
I am 32 flavors and then some...
Ani DiFranco said it first "I am 32 flavors and then some...". There aren't any words more accurate at describing my present state of being, on the crux of 33 years on this earth, I truly am 32 flavors and then some. On the 3rd day of may 2011 I will have been on this earth 33 years. Since my 30th birthday, 3 years ago, I have gone from just me to a family of 3. Today I have a 3 month old, Micah, and me! Truly, I am blessed.
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