Yoga and Cookies

My top 10

2011-08-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have a ridiculous amount of pictures of Bridger, thanks to the fact he is my first child, and thanks to the convenience of digital cameras. Although I could make a top 1000 list, here are some that touch my heart.

10. Seriously, that face?9. There we go again, that face AND that TIE.8. We're a family.7. And oh those feet. Oh those toes. I just want to eat them.6. This reminds me of all the time I spent carrying Bridger, inside or out, close to my heart.5. His first easter basket and keen ability to destroy it.4. Even though he scoots me out of my bed space, and I am massively sleep deprived, I still love the mornings of waking up next to this.3. Hours upon hours upon hours of being physically assaulted while nursing my man.2. For the love of your toes1. And finally #1 favorite pastime, Eskimo kisses = a unequivocal love affair

Self worth and motherhood

2011-08-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

In the words of Benedict XVI: "The joyful love with which our parents welcomed us and accompanied our first steps in this world is like a sacramental sign and prolongation of the benevolent love of God from which we have come. The experience of being welcomed and loved by God and by our parents is always the firm foundation for authentic human growth and authentic development, helping us to mature on the way towards truth and love, and to move beyond ourselves in order to enter into communion with others and with God."

In the last two weeks, something has shifted from deep within me, and I am not talking about the chile verde I had last night. No no, something deep within my soul has opened me up to the little life I hold in my arms and attend to his every need for hours upon hours daily. The last few weeks of his life have been filled with many moments of exploring his little bodies abilities, eating toes, using his hands to grab any object in sight, exploring all these items in his mouth, patting hard surfaces, making funny shrieks, discovering new foods, getting new teeth. In this stage of increased mobility and aggresiveness from my little son, I have somedays felt mildy attacked after an earring pulled out, a scratch on my nose, and a little less hair. I have ofttimes felt a little resentful or bothered by his actions.

But then it happened, about two weeks ago came one of those AH HA moments, and suddenly my relationship to this litte man became clear. We were playing on the floor in the living room, I was doing my usual tactics to maximize giggles and smiles. I was eating his toes, his hands, making his favorite noises, and best of all tickling. In all the playfulness I suddenly realized with a greater amount of understanding and weight what my relationship really was too this little man. I felt reassured that undoubtedly he was my son. And more importantly I realized that beyond simply taking care of his physical needs, that my function in his life went far beyond a source of food. In that moment I realized that I was there for the most important reason of all: to build his self worth.

Wow, that realization hit me like a ton of bricks. A human's self worth. I mean, slow down, wow, this is big time stuff, self worth of another human! Nothing tops that in any job I have ever done, not hours of mopping floors, approving loans, teaching yoga, no nothing even comes close to this kind of work. And for the most part, in spite of the slight physical abuse I have undergone, I realize that more than any job in the past I have the single, most satisfying job that I could ever dream of: motherhood.

I feel overwhelmed that I have been entrusted with this little person, to love him, to nourish him, to protect them, and to build his self worth. I realized that every time he cries and needs me, every time I pick him up and hold him, every time I change his diaper, every time I feed him, every time I wake up in the middle of the night to care for him. Each and every time I respond to him, countless times a day, placing his needs over my own, that I create value of his worth, I let him know that he is of infinite value and he is loved. I remind him of the love he felt from his father in heaven. What small sacrifices I have to make countless times daily translates into a soul that is nourished physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I suddenly feel overwhelmed with the newly understood task at home. When was the interview? Are you sure I am qualified? Are you really sure I can be a good mother? Well that is yet to be determined, but I am sure going to give it my best. It is one job I can't screw up at, I must keep working to become better. God knows I can do it, so therefore I can.

Luxuries of a nursing mother

2011-08-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

There are many things in my life I have taken for granted, enjoying them as everyday activities, never realizing that with a baby, they truly are the lap of luxury.
No longer will I take them for granted:

1. A shower, uninterrupted that is
2. A quiet meal, not scarfed down
3. Exercising (without a jogging stroller or bike trailor attached)
4. Shopping, alone that is
5. Practicing yoga or any hobbies uninterrupted
6. Reading quietly
7. Setting my own schedule
8. Cooking and baking
9. Folding laundry
10. Running Errands
11. Working
12. Having an uninterrupted adult conversation
13. Clean clothing, without spit-up all over
14. Sleeping through the night

Truth be told I like doing housework, chores, errands. I love all the things in which a woman excels, as it turns out I just didn't realize how much easier they were to do without a little one that needs your constant care. So it's a trade-off.
I certainly no longer excel at producing 15 doz cookies in one day to sell at farmers market, my laundry rarely gets folded before sitting in the dryer for a few days, and I no longer spend hours laboring over new creative meals. I don't run for as long as I want anymore, I don't spend hours reading my favorite book, and I don't teach 12 yoga classes a week.

But it's ok.

None of that matters.

None of it compares to what life is now: And I am so very...
very...
Very...very...ridiculously....Richly...incredibly...totally...extaordinarily...extremely...Beyond measure...infinitely...blessed.

I am grateful each and every day for the lessons in selflessness.

A day on my knees

2011-06-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

I know what you must be thinking right now, wow, she is right up there with Enos, spending the whole day in humble petition with the Lord. Truth is no I am not on my knees because I am in humble penitence. We can choose to be humble, or we are compelled to be humble.

Today I was the latter of the two, compelled to spend the day on my knees (and probably not just today). My options were simply this: rely on your husband or 5 month old baby to carry you to the potty in the middle of the night, get a catheter, or get on your hands and crawl to the toilet. So again I chose the latter option: to crawl. With two feet bruised badly enough that walking is not an option, the idea to crawl came like a stroke of genius in the night "sure you feet don't work, but hello YOU STILL HAVE KNEES!"

This much time spent on my knees has taught me many lessons. Spare me to share a few:

1. The lower size counters custom designed for midgets could have really come in handy for making dinner tonight, lucky for me I could still reach the fridge.
2. Rollerblading knee pads are a way better option than oven mits ace bandaged to the knees for protection from hardwood and tile floors.
3. Scooting on your bum also works helps when your knees get sore and tired.
4. Husbands do not like to be incessantly bossed around about 'how to do something' when you can't do it yourself.
3. Mind over matter people, if you really need to accomplish something, you can always find a way.
4. You get to see the world through a new set of eyes, similar to a small child or midget, and know what its like to be looked down upon.
5. You face the cold hard truth of how dirty your floor really are and inside the kitchen cabinets at hip level.
6. Functional feet are strongly unappreciated on a consistent basis.
7. For once a car ride was the only option in getting from point A to point B than running, walking or biking.
6. Pretty sure that walking on your knees burns way more calories than walking on you feet.
7. The list of essential to do's, really not as long as I make it.
8. Less is more.
9. Yoga truly can be adapted to suit all bodies, even ones without working feet.
10. It's a great reason to keep your husband home from work.
11. Living in the moment is better than anticipating the non return of useable feet
12. The world might be a more compassionate place if everyone spent a day on their knees.
13. Navigating a wheelchair = not as easy as it looks.
14. Being pushed in a wheelchair = really kind of fun.
15. You can laugh or you can cry but if you do them together it might come out your nose.
16. I still take this over how your body feels the day after giving birth.
17. Having injured feet does not affect my milk supply.
18. Less mobility = Less distraction and more quality time Bridger.
20. Asking for help from others, not as hard as I make it and sometimes absolutely needed.

Altogether I would mark this day as a success in the history books. In fact it was such a success I think I will give it a try again tomorrow.

Simplicity

2011-06-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" Leonardo Da Vinci

Of all people, really, Leonardo telling us to simplify? If his paintings are indication of simplicity than I wonder what my works would say about me. This week in the yoga classes I have taught I have shared this quote. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite offering these words to others, when I myself have a hard time living them. But then I realize the words of inspiration are not from a perfect teacher, but someone learning each day. The longer I teach, the more I realize how little I really know...

Bridger and motherhood humbles me every day. As soon as I start to think I might know what I am doing, I realize very abruptly I don't. Today I am sitting here writing this post in my full motherhood glory: I haven't showered yet and its 4:50pm, I feel ready to explode from holding off going to the bathroom an hour too long, my undergarments are all twisted and bunched up and I'm too tired to fix them, I have a huge zit in the middle of my cheek and haven't covered it up, and I have Bridger dried pee on my shirt with some leftover cookie dough (something I actually did accomplish today).

Everyday I review my list of priorities to get done and figure out which one I can let go of. I tell myself it's ok, and then something happens. Somewhere in my mind I suddenly get feelings of inspiration that somehow, somewhere, extra time will manifest itself and I will be able to accomplish all the priorities plus the extras I thought I had to let go of. In my superpower strength I start more projects I could possibly finish, and then it comes. The needs of my baby override everything, right down to looking presentable, or being covered in pee or better smeared poo.
Today, I surrender, so there you go Leonardo, simplicity really IS the ULTIMATE SOPHISTICATION. Do you think he had pee and poo on him when he said that?

Every day I am humbled, not only because I realize my own inadequacies, but more importantly I have been blessed with the sweetest little boy on this earth. I can genuinely say he is the sweetest little man, he is my son, and I love him.
Nothing is simple about being a momma, no matter how I slice it or dice it, it is the work of sacrifice, patience, love, and it never really ends from one day to the next. But I can't go back, I wouldn't want to go back, to the way things use to be. Not when I look at my sweet baby,hear his giggles, laughing, and see his smile.

My first Vacation

2011-05-09T21:05:00.001-07:00

Being a new baby on this earth brings with it lots of "Firsts". This weekend I went on my very first vacation to St. George. Daddy decided to take mommy for her birthday and Mother's Day gift this year. It was well deserved with all the hard work I do...Me and Daddy at the Bear Paw Cafe for my first time, yummy french toast, or so Daddy told me.
My very first time in the swimming pool.
I liked it better out of the water with Mommy holding me.
My very first bike ride in my new bike trailer.The first time I saw a house with all sorts of man made animals. My first time to a yummy Thai Restaurant, Benja. Atleast I think it's yummy by the time it gets to me. We watched some individuals finish the IronMan, maybe someday I will be an IronMan.
Or maybe I'll just take a snoozer.

A Mother's Work

2011-05-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today is indeed a special day, a day I have longed for, a day I have prayed for, and a day I have patiently awaited. Today for the very first time ON this Mother's Day, I AM A MOTHER. Not mother of a pet duck, not a mother in spirit only, and not a mother of a zygote, no, I am a mother of a 4 month old beautiful, healthy, human baby boy. At times of my prolonged singlehood I often wondered how or when this would happen. And then one day..... this Mother's DAY...... it is really here, I am a mother.

Not only am I a new mother this Mother's Day but I am one of the privileged few that is fortunate enough to dedicate my work fully to being at home and raising my little one.
As I contemplate the work of a mother, I reminisce about the previous work I have done prior to mammahood. I have worked full or part time in some capacity since I was 11 years old. Starting with babysitting, cleaning, then working up to retail, food service, customer service, and eventually a career in banking. After working to graduate college debt free, I worked as a banker for 7 years at Zions Bank and UBS. Even now I still work as a yoga instructor and own a small cookie business. I am grateful for what I have learned and the skills I have developed by working. But now as I look at my 4 month old I realize none of the work I have ever done compares to the work I do as a mother.

From what I can tell, there are some key differences between the work of a banker vs the work of a mother, spare me to share just a few...

The work schedule of a banker requires 40-50 hours a week, the work of a mother requires 168 hours a week (24 hours a day, 7 days a week.)
The work day of a banker ends at 5 or 6pm, the work day of a mother ends well, never.
The compensation of a banker includes a generous annual salary paid predictably biweekly, the compensation of a mother: kisses, smiles, and coos that come spontaneously day or night.
The dress code of a banker: business casual slacks and a pressed shirt, the dress code of a mother: a shirt with no spit up and not too tight pants.
The tasks of a banker: decisioning loans based on credit worthiness, ability to repay, and collateral; the tasks of a mother, well in a word endless (feed the baby, change diapers, bathe the baby, playtime, read, clean, do dishes, do laundry, cook)
The conversations of a banker: discussing plans for the weekend with coworkers, the conversations of mother, moo moo, baah baah, laa laa to baby.
A prized skill of a banker typing 55 wpm, a prized skill of a mother, changing diaper a diaper in under a minute.
The extra overtime work of a banker resulting in bonuses and extra pay, the overtime of a mother sleepless nights to avoid a screaming baby.
The benefits of a banker, 3 weeks paid vacation, health insurance, and retirement plans,

the benefits of a mother...

priceless.
Being a new mother is at times challenging beyond what I experienced as a banker, and beyond what I could have fathomed, but I wouldn't trade any of it, the highs or the lows because it is all part of the experience, the one we call motherhood.

Sacred, revered, motherhood.

This Mother's Day I look at my sweet baby, and I realize with a greater conviction than I have ever felt before in my life that indeed, truly, most definitely,

I am a mother....

and I am blessed.

I am 32 flavors and then some...

2011-05-02T23:07:00.000-07:00

Ani DiFranco said it first "I am 32 flavors and then some...". There aren't any words more accurate at describing my present state of being, on the crux of 33 years on this earth, I truly am 32 flavors and then some. On the 3rd day of may 2011 I will have been on this earth 33 years. Since my 30th birthday, 3 years ago, I have gone from just me to a family of 3. Today I have a 3 month old, Micah, and me! Truly, I am blessed.

You might be a new mother IF...

2011-04-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

...you discover your boobs actually have a crucial function other than aesthetic appeal, and get touched more than a porn star.
...the highlight of your day has now become your babies bowel movement.
...you discover you have been wearing your underwear inside out all day and don't bother to change it.
...you now understand why people make casseroles and freeze them.
...you feel like going to the bathroom alone is a luxury.
...you have a ravenous appetite with no time to eat.
...what used to take two hours to do can really be done in 20 minutes.
...you are now skilled at accomplishing just about any task with one hand.
...you realize crying is just noise.
...you discover that best parenting advice is none.
...you crave a moment to yourself only to miss your baby as soon as you leave.
...you enjoy downloading nursery songs on your iPod.
...you cry at huggies commercials and hallmark cards.
...there are a plethora of quotes that now take on a whole new dimension of understanding.
...you suddenly realize how selfish you have been your whole life.
...you can't remember the last time you slept 8 hours straight.
...you have changed your opinion on clothe vs. disposable diapers.
...your standard of clean know entails anything not covered in breast milk or poo.
...you suddenly realize that pony tails are a new fashion statement.
...you find yourself contemplating daily how there are so many humans on the earth.
...your daytime nap was longer than your night time nap.
...every room in your house has some sort of baby sitting device.
...a good day is when you get a shower and breakfast before noon.
...you feel intimately bonded to complete strangers at the grocery stores once you start discussing motherhood.
...your husband complains about waking up in the night and being tired.
...at moments you actually miss getting up and going to work.
...you now understand why your older friend and siblings with children constantly told you to "Enjoy your freedom" when you where single.
...you now find yourself telling your single friends to "Enjoy their freedom."
...you have removed the phrase from your vocabulary "I will never have one of THOSE children."
...no two days are alike.
...the highlight of your Friday night is bath time.
...you find the ice cream conveniently placed in the cupboard.
...you realize in retrospect that your pregnancy wasn't THAT bad.
...you have an abundance of new baby gadgets but no time to put together or use them.
...you spend more time each day communicating in baby babble than the English language.

And finally you might be a new mother IF.... just one smile can melt your heart and make any sacrifice in the world all worth it.

Motherhood and Sisterhood

2011-03-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I don't think anyone would fault me for not posting on my blog for three months when they now I have been preparing, laboring, pushing, loving, nursing, changing, and caring for every need of a little one. It seems ridiculous that I can even find time to go to the bathroom let alone write on my blog. To be perfectly honest the only reason I am is because I was inspired to by my most wonderfully talented friend Rebecca. She excels at blog posts, photography, and any creative endeavor at its utmost. While I tell myself I would be creative if there was time.

Rebecca has always been an amazing friend to me, through the mission, college roomates, first years of marraige, and now first child. We haven't gone through these life events simultaneous but we always been friends through it all and that is what has mattered.

As I graze upon this new life choice called motherhood I have made discoveries that I feel slightly left in the dark that no one mentioned to me prior. A few include: the suturing up after having already gone through the most intense contractions that words cannot describe, the fundal massage (don't let the word massage fool you) that the nurse does after your baby comes out by pushing on your uterus so hard you want to slap her, the consequences of your new sleep deprived life, like placing refrigerated perishables such as ice cream in the cupboard, the yellow mustard poo that not any diaper on this earth could contain, and changing it with one boob still hanging out from nursing, the need for a burp cloth sown to your armpit, the achy back from literally hours upon hours of nursing and holding your little one, the fact that they always cry and need to be held when you finally get dinner on the table, and last but not least that while your husband may be helpful, there is just so much, oh so so so much he could never understood.

As I shared in my new delights of motherhood with Rebecca during a lengthy phone conversation, I realize a few things. Number 1, why my mother was ALWAYS on the phone. Number 2, we NEED , I mean REALLY NEED women in our life. Whether it is sister, mother, friend, auntie, neighbor, stranger at the store, the bottom line ladies, is WE NEED EACH OTHER! I had heard rumors of this pre child but I never really understood this principle until now. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, and he is superbly supportive beyond what I could have asked for, but only a woman knows what it is like to change a poopy diaper one handidly, while cleaning off their shoulder with their boob hanging out for round 2 of lunch. Know I recognize most of you ladies out there are pro's at this stuff, and so proficient that you never even stand up without buttoning up your bra and nicely retucking your shirt, but for this lady, in the need to catch the rivers of poo I do whatever it takes.

Only a mother knows what it is like to feel insanely crazy without getting atleast a 30 minute break in the day from her little one, but yet feels the paranoia of leaving her child for 48 hours. Only a mother knows what it is like to feel the most intense love beyond description one moment, and them extreme guilt and craziness the next. I suppose each and every mothers experience is so uniquely different and I wouldn't trade mine for the world. I would love to document every sweet cue, every giggle, gurgle, and smile. I would love to have the history books capture every moment of this little precious life, but quite frankly ladies, and I know you understand this one, I am just too busy enjoying it! And really when you look at this face can you blame me?

Vegas, baby Vegas

2010-12-19T17:20:00.001-08:00

So with a baby on the way, nothing seemed more suiting than a trip to Vegas, perfect for pregnant ladies (0f which we had two). Actually, it was a fabulous to spend several days with just the girls indulging in our favorite activities: chatting, eating, and shopping! The highlight of the trip was a fabulous birthday celebration for my dear friend Rebecca.

Connie, Rebecca, Rachel at Tao Restaurant

Rebecca and Connie in Birthday Delight

Giant Fortune Cookie, YUM!

Our cool hotel!

Connie at the giant tree in Lake Las Vegas, almost as big as her belly at 33 weeks!

Tis the Season'

2010-12-03T16:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that summer has passed, Fall came and went, and now it is winter. According to my blog I am in denial of such recent changes in weather and life. But I must come back to the present (christmas present?)! Halloween and Thanksgiving came and went, and now Christmas is in the air. Oct brought us a trip to lovely seattle and a Halloween Shindig, November brought baby blessing, Thanksgiving and more. A few highlights:

The lovely seattle horizon.

Pikes market, I wish I could go everyday!

Yoga Rocks! Adho Mukha Vrksasana, on Bainbridge Island.

Notice the Warrior II rock behind me.

Vrksasana, so steady and focused.

With all the yoga influence on this small island west of Seattle I am certain it is the right place for me!

On to halloween festivities. This year Micah and I had a family and friend party with all the lots of creepy treats!

The Whole Spread

Mummy Dip with Fingers, ooh scary!!!

Ghostly tortilla chips

Healthy Pumpkin Face

Mummys in a blanket, these went fast!

Banana Ghosts!

Pumpkin Cakes!

And it can't be a party without cookies!

and scary spiders!

Spooky Decor!

Thank you pumpkin for this season!

Then came the chill of november, beginning with Baby Alec's blessing, he was dressed in the most adorable white tuxedo!

Grandma Karen and baby Alec.

The only picture of food on Thanksgiving Day, and it was yummy!

And Baby Day's first Thanksgiving!

Developing Roots

2010-06-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

I wonder how anything on this earth can grow without establishing "roots"? I mean our little garden wouldn't produce without firm roots, babies wouldn't be born if not for an umbilical cord, careers wouldn't flourish, flowers would never bloom. Basically this earth would be one heaping mound of darkness, death, and decay. Luckily, we all have "roots", some are strong, some weak, but they all connect us to something, something greater that what we are on our own.

Little plants like to stay connected to mother earth for nourishment, protections, and growth. Babies need nourishment to grow and live on their own, and we all need the root to a greater 'source' than ourselves. Whatever you call your 'source', whether it is God, Universal Spirit, Love, Peace, etc, it seems to have the same effect. We realize there is something much larger than us, much greater than ourselves, a force so strong that we can do things beyond our own power, and flourish beyond our own imaginations. It may mean submitting to a plan that we didn't foresee for ourselves, being present in the moments of adversity, but it is a plan so much greater than our own. It is a plan that I am sure will provide innumerable benefits, countless implications, of the which we surely couldn't understand. It is a great plan, that began with establishing 'roots', and remaining connected to the right source of all strength, power, and ability.

Growth

2010-05-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

It seems to be that at least 50% of the days in May have brought rain. I thought the song went "April Showers bring May flowers." Apparently Utah doesn't espouse to such adages.

While this one to one ratio is great for the life recently planted in the soil, it sure makes it tough to take a walk without getting wet. I love springtime, I love to walk by houses and look at how they have landscaped. I like to see the reflection of personalities in what flowers, grasses, shrubs, and trees people like to adorn their home with. I love that people take great pride in their homes.

I lived in NYC for 3 years where one was lucky to claim a step of a concrete sidewalk their backyard in the urban dwellings. Oh how different it is here. There a 400 square foot studio apartment for one was a haven of spaciousness. Here a home under 1000 square feet seems like a meager living. In NYC no need or space for a car, here it seems each house needs at least 3. A big family in NYC is a couple of two, here it is ten. There the outdoors consisted of a run in central park and trip to Union Square Market, here it is planting your own garden. In NYC we walked outside rain, sun, snow, cold, hot, because if you don't you can't get anywhere, here we walk when its sunny and warm but not too hot. There the kids played on the stoop and the sidewalk, here they play in their backyard. In NYC the opportunity to grow came in a bonsai tree kit from Urban Outfitters planting in my refrigerator, here it is in the open sunlight of organic matter, real sunlight, and real rain.

Oh how my life has changed over the past 2 years. I have gone from urban dweller in its surprisingly simplicity with little space and little room to grow, to the expansive burbs' of Bountiful Utah. Every day I am still amazed at how much space there is here, how much convenience, how much ease in daily living.

At times I miss the city of NYC, even in the tiring nature of carrying a bag of groceries on your back, and walking everywhere you need to go. Yet I realize that in my small home there, as wonderful as it was, I didn't have an essential ingredient nor the space to grow. Now with my husband, we can plant and grow.

Scripture

2010-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

I am reminded ever continually of the power of God's word.

"His commandments are the voice of reality and our protection against self-inflicted pain."

Elder Todd D. Christofferson in GC April 2004, The Blessing of Scripture

"Yea, we see that whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked."

Helaman 3:29

32 peas for 32 years

2010-05-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

After celebrating many significant holidays (birthdays, Valentines, Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Halloween, you get the point) for years as a single gal I learned long ago to bring significance to your special day without bringing TOO much attention to yourself (aka annoying songs belted out by servers that are perfect strangers in a cheesy chain restaurant). And a birthday party cannot turn in to a party of self pity, or it isn't a real party.

So I ask the question: What significance is their in celebrating our day of birth and each year of life we have survived from that date of birth? Well, I decided in my days of single-hood to make it a day of purpose, including but not limited to either personal accomplishment, service, creating, or otherwise ridiculous feats. For example in years past: 25 years from birth brought running 25 miles, plus 1.2 for good luck, a marathon. 30 years from birth brought walking Manhattan Island top to bottom (13 miles) in honor of my favorite movie, 13 Going on 30. So what would 32 years of life bring? I racked my brain on this one, and after some thought I could think of nothing more important on this day that to give birthing rights to 32 peas in our garden. And Micah's awesome card accompanied the peas birth.

32 peas now have 32 homes: a home to keep them warm, a home to be nourished, a home to take root, a home to grow, a home to create offspring, a home to nest. Ok, so truth be told, I may have gotten carried away and planted 64, but can you blame me? Their new home is in our backyard.

As if 32 peas isn't enough excitement for a day to celebrate 32 years: Micah and I decided to relive our wedding day in Logan, visiting Nefertiti's Court at the Anniversary Inn in Logan.

Logan has always brought Leopard Prints into my life since my college days, so I couldn't resist. As it turns out the Anniversary Inn also provides Love Swans in addition to Leopard Prints, can you feel the love?

And they feature nice beds to share the love.

Don't worry we kept ourselves busy with lots of activities, like going for a ride in Logan Canyon to utilize my new awesome gift from Micah. The basket.

And the canyon is beautiful this time of year.

And full of cool trees.

And 32 years olds.

Rejoice

2010-04-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

This is quote from the diary of Sarah DeArmon Rich, February 1846 right after the saints were forced out of their home in Nauvoo (for many a 2nd or even 3rd move from their homes): “To start out on such a journey in the winter . . . would seem like walking into the jaws of death but we had faith . . . [and] we felt to rejoice that the day of our deliverance had come.”

From "The Rock of our Redeemer" by Elder Anderson in April 2010 General Conference

Personal Revelation

2010-04-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

"The ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the single most important skill that can be acquired in this life."

Sister Beck, April GC 2010

Elevate

2010-04-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

In yoga philosophy, the 39th sutra of Patanjali states, "yathā 'bhimata dhyānād vā". Translated this means that "one retains the undisturbed calm of the mind by focusing on any thought that elevates the mind." What thoughts elevate your mind? I visualize a calm, blissful body of water, a noble individual, an act of kindness, a generous offering, a sweet innocent child. There are numerous thoughts to elevate the mind. When we first focus to bring this elevating thought in steadily, continue to focus on it, with time and discipline, it eventually becomes a part of our nature. The 'mind stuff' is constrained and we become elevated ourselves. It isn't merely a good idea, it is transformation on a cellular level. In yoga classes I encourage students to look inside and find that which is noble, elevating, inspiring; we then experience it in the tantric way by elevating our physical bodies in practice, our arms, our hearts, our legs; allowing ourselves to move from one place to a higher place, literally.

In general conference this April Pres. Boyd K. Packer in "The Power of the Priesthood" spoke about how we who live the gospel of Jesus Christ will have this power of elevating as well. He said "President Joseph Fielding Smith said, “While it may be said . . . that we are but a handful in comparison with . . . the world, yet we may be compared with the leaven of which the Savior spoke, which will eventually leaven [or lift] the whole world.”

I bake cookies almost daily, without a leavening agent I would have very ugly cookies; lifeless, small, and hard. I am certain no one would purchase them, and I am more certain I would not find such joy in creating them. The ratio of leavening agent to other ingredients is relatively small, very small, maybe one teaspoon to maybe 96 teaspoons of flour. Yet without this crucial agent, my cookies would most certainly not elevate.

Similarly, it takes one elevating thought in 96 that pass our minds to elevate our entire soul. Can you imagine 96 thoughts passing your mind without one of them elevating your mind or heart. Wouldn't life be dull? Isn't it the one in 96 that makes all the other thoughts worth thinking? In fact, just like the cookie, the elevating power has the ability to spread into all the other thoughts bringing them all to a higher level. Just one elevating thought to influence 96 others. Powerful is an understatement.

So, I am grateful for elevating thoughts, even if they don't come as frequently as I would like, they elevate the rest of my thoughts that comprise my day. I am grateful for a leavening agent in cookies, without it, just like life, it would be one tough cookie, and nobody likes a tough cookie.

seriously, was that spring?

2010-04-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Umm, ok, I might not be completely accurate, but I believe it was just 7 days ago we woke up to snow, yes, thats correct, snow! Today, mind you 7 days after snowfall, I passed a sign that said in Bold Red lights: 81 degrees. That is correct within a 7 day period we experience snow and 81 degree weather. Only in utah.

"So springtime, are you over, I didn't get much of a chance to experience you before summertime scooted its way in. I feel that you get jipped every year, and for that, well, all I can say is I am very sorry. Just when I was beginning to really enjoy your beautiful tulips, daffodils, and budding trees, so soon you leave. Next year I hope that winter is courteous enough to leave sooner giving you some freedom to express your beauty, and that summer isn't so impatient to begin. I love and cherish you springtime!"

Spring has sprung

2010-04-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

Spring, the most wonderful time of the year (well ok, right behind Christmas). Both of them bring trees covered in white! It helps that I get to go on walks in this sunshine with my fabulous neighbors, Julie and Claira. They are the cutest neighbors this side of the mississippi! Sometimes we even play games with them, if they can keep Micah and I from hurting each other.

So here's to springtime, in all it's beauty.

And fabulous walks with cute Claira.

Cherry Blossoms.

Claira walking.

I meant really, really loving to walk.

Life springing up where you least expect it.

Julie and Claira-cute as the budding flowers.

Finally, a season with pink trees!

Take time to stop and smell the flowers!

Yoga Shrine and say goodbye to the Apple Tree

2010-04-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was a good weekend. Micah and I went to Park City to help with Sam Granato's US Senate Campaign. If you haven't met Sam you need to. He is a fabulous man, a business owner of an Italian Deli here in SLC, and you should find out more about him!

While Micah helped raise funds, I helped deplete funds by taking a side trip to one of my very favorite stores in the whole World: World Market! Yes I purchased my very first futon/couch there about 5 years ago, lugged it home in a tiny Audi TT, and then shipped it to NYC to adorn my very first studio important. It was, and still is that cool, take a look. Oh how I miss my little studio, wasn't it cute to boot!

I wondered if my days of World Market had passed after moving back to the burb's of Bountiful and confirming my home decor purchases with Micah. Well, as it turns out, I was in desperate need for some adorning of my little yoga space, which quite frankly he has no say over. So here it is, an itty bitty, lovely Yoga Shrine. Thank you, World Market for satisfying my soulful pillow desires, I adore you.

Someday this little shrine will be a large studio, someday.

As if that isn't enough to excite you, it got better with the Saturday afternoon, Micah chopping down the Apple Tree. The best part is I think he is way cuter than George Washington.

This guy was diseased and producing bad apples, or we would have kept him. Regardless, I still mourn for the apples that could have been. I helped cut up all these branches, what a mess.

After, better, all tidy and ready for trash pick-up!

Bye, bye apple tree.

so I like to run, big deal?

2010-04-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

So I realized as I was running yesterday that I have been running on a regular basis, averaging 15-20 miles a week since I was 14 years old. That is approximately 17 years, over half my life, which is roughly 13,260 miles + or -. Quite frankly, I am not a fast runner, I never have been, and I don't run to compete races. And in all those years and miles, I don't think I have ever really taken the time to ask, WHY? Yesterday while I had a good 90 minutes run, I took the opportunity to ask WHY? And here is what I have came up with:

1. It allows me to move.

2. It gives me an excuse to be outside.

3. I can appreciate nature.

4. I can see what real estate is for sale in my neighborhood.

5. I become quickly oriented to my new locale while traveling.

6. I can watch people waiting for a bus.

7. I can run as fast or slow as I feel that day.

8. I have time to think before starting my day, planning it in my mind.

9. Its funner than cleaning my house.

10. There is nothing to distract me like there may be if I exercise at home.

11. I like to see my neighbors and wave to them as they leave for work.

12. I like to see the kids walk to school.

13. I like to feel the sun and breeze on my face.

14. It makes me feel alive.

15. I don't have to think about anything or do anything else while I run.

16. If I am upset, I can run away from things. (very healthy, I know)

17. Because I love to exercise and I would hate to spend that much time a gym.

18. It helps me know what the weather will be each day, and plan what to wear.

19. It is annoying and fun to run in snow and rain.

20. I rarely get sick of it or want to quit.

21. It gives me a goal I can complete perfectly each day.

22. It gets me a reason to get out of bed each day.

23. I dream about it.

24. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I didn't.

25. Bonus, its hard to keep on a lot of extra weight while running regularly.

26. I breathe deeper.

27. It gives me more of a reason to practice yoga.

28. It helps me honor, love, and preserve my precious body.

29. It's just fun.

30. It feels great when you are done.

Opposition

2010-04-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

The wisdom of wise men of god; "For it must needs be, there is an ^aopposition in all things." 2 Nephi 2:11

There are moments when I tend to disregard this wisdom, like when I am unloading the car of groceries, it is raining outside, the phone is ringing with no free hands, and I can't find my keys. At those moments feeling like a homeless wet dog, I wonder if this is a time for God to teach me about opposition. Isn't there an easier way to learn? Thoughts surface like: are you sure there has to be opposition? Is it really necessary to teach me right NOW? How about we get through this moment opposition free? Can we just give a try, and if you don't like it we can go back to the old way? Figuratively, the homeless wet dog feeling comes into many other areas of life, when we feel we have been left out in the cold, or we are not sure which direction to turn.

Now aside from my uncomely bartering with God, as if he could change the way the entire way he has created life to work to fit my needs, I recognize that my intellect could never match his understanding and I am his creation. I trust he knows what he's doing, even if I don't.

This humbling process leads me to remember he has all wisdom and understanding. I begin to have a greater conviction of the statement "For it must needs be, there is an ^aopposition in all things." For after all, it is more than simply a statement, it is truth, and wise counsel from a loving father.

The key word of this counsel I have often overlooked, "opposition in ALL things." The means not in some things, not just in things I choose, and not just at times I am ok with it, but in ALL things. The word ALL is inclusive. So where do we go from here? Well, I'm not sure, but I trust my father in heaven, that he will point me in the direction I need to go.

Foodly speaking blog...

2010-04-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

Proudly announcing (drumroll please) a brand new blog...Hi friends,

I have decided that I don't blog very often for one main reason, I need a purpose to blog! After some soul searching, pondering, yogaing, and running a few long runs, it has come to me. Inspiration at it's finest! A blog all about my favorite passion: FOOD! Now, I recognize this has been done before, many times, but never has a blog been created about my very own favorite recipes, my favorite restaurants, my obsession with vanilla extract, and my cooking catastrophes. Food fascinates me on so many levels, from growing it, finding it, choosing it, preparing it, feeding others, and eating it, I find great joy in the journey of food. So that's it, a blog all about FOOD!

It will include but not be limited to: lots of recipes featuring gluten free, vegan, everything from main dishes to cookies and baked goods, new food projects (making vanilla extract), local restaurant reviews, product reviews! Check it out at foodlyspeaking.blogspot.com.

Hip Hip Hurray for food!

Vanilla Project

2010-04-02T17:40:00.000-07:00

I have dreamed about, thought about, read about it, prepared for it, but I have never as of yet done it! What, you might ask? Make my very own Vanilla Extract, with real vanilla beans, and real alcohol. Homemade has never been so great!

It is so simple:

Vanilla Beans (grade B or better),

Vodka (or 80 proof alcohol)

A bottle

I read lots of different websites and decided upon about 6-7 beans per cup of alcohol, for a 2 fold strength, given 3 beans is FDA standard. I already bake with 2 fold strength, so I would hate to step down. This little experiment became a realization when Vanilla Products USA (ebay) sent me free Vanilla Beans with my purchase of 2 fold strength Madagascar Vanilla Extract (which is fabulous)! Thanks Vanilla Product USA, I highly recommend you to everyone.

So, I sliced the beans down the center with about an inch still in tact at the top, for ease of removal later on. Some websites recommended scraping out the caviar, as it enhanced flavor. It mentioned this if you were trying to produce extract in 6 weeks. Since I have time on my side, 6 months, I opted out of that messy step, trusting these little guys to have plenty of time to seep!

Most places recommend a glass bottle, I got lazy on this step. I had a 32 oz. bottle that formerly housed Nielsen-Massey Vanilla Extract, and deemed that a worthy enough container. I filled it without about 20-22 beans and 3 cups of Vodka, immersing these guys completely.

I gave it a good shake, then I kindly placed the bottle in my cool, dark cupboard, and patiently (key word, patiently) will wait for the vanilla to seep into the alcohol producing a most happy extract. Oh joy, Connie's Cookies can hardly wait for your flavor to enhance, embolden, and empower!

Pray in your wilderness

2010-03-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

As I look back over my life, I realize time and time again, that there are moments when I am undoubtedly in the wilderness. While I am not literally surrounded by weeds, unkept grasses, a blazing hot sun, and no compass, figuratively I am lost in unknown territory without direction.

I ask myself at such a moments, how did I end up here? Did I do something to deserve this? Where did I take a wrong turn? Where am I headed now and how do I get there? Is there safety when I reach a destination? I suppose none of us like the wilderness, it is full of uncertainty, lack of direction, and uncomfortable feelings. Not knowing what is next is never that comfortable. But alas we cannot find where we are going if we are never lost. We can't find our way home if we never left.

If I let myself be the dandelion, I would blow whatever way the wind blew, I wouldn't have an anchor, a sense of strength, and direction. I would not grow.

This life is a time to grow, and I know this. The uncertainty that comes with the wilderness will approach us at different periods throughout our life. Amulek taught us what to do in our wilderness, "ye must ^apour out your souls in your ^bclosets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness." When we pray in our wilderness suddenly it isn't so scary, we know in whom we trust, we stay rooted to our anchor. We persist despite opposition and doubts that may arise. Pray in your wilderness, you will never be left alone.

All the gold medals in the world

2010-03-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

As much as I love 16 blissful days of sitting on the edge of our seats in deep anticipation of who will win the gold, the Olympics is over. I did enjoy falling asleep to Figure Skating, Ice Dancing, Speed Skating, and the list goes on. But in all the excitement of the events, and even making a trip to Vancouver myself this year, nothing made me happier than having my husband return to me after 22 long days. So Vancouver, BC, thank you for returning my husband to me, basically unharmed. All the gold medals in the world couldn't replace him.

Yoga Sutra 1:33

2010-02-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

“By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and disregard toward the wicked, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calm.”

Yoga Sutra of Patanjali I.33

2010-02-05T20:23:00.000-08:00

"...pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all things." Mosiah 26:39

Perils

2010-01-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

"Most of us spend a good part of our lives in perils so nearly invisible that self-reliance comes easily, and accepting counsel from brothers, or from God, comes hard." Elder Henry B. Eyring

When life gives you crappy dinner rolls, make croutons

2010-01-20T11:31:00.000-08:00

As some of you may remember several weeks ago, I seemingly sabotaged a lovely Sunday dinner with the family. The biggest failure, the dinner rolls. They had such potential, yet they didn't rise, and turned our dense and dry. We ate a few token rolls at dinner and due to my loss I couldn't throw them away. Today I opened up the cupboard intending to find mildewy rolls. Quite the contrary, they still had a semblance of life to them, and I figured I might as well try them out for bread crumbs if nothing else. As I began chopping away, I tasted a small bite, and realized these had the best potential in the form of an olive oil, herd infused crouton, the best kind you can find. So there it is, a little dolled up with spices, oil, and salt, in the oven at 200 for an hour or so, and voila, the yummiest croutons ever!

So when life gives you crappy dinner rolls, make croutons!

Wisdom from a chocolate wrapper...

2010-01-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

These last few days I have been eating a Dove chocolate, one of our Christmas gifts. I dare say this is the gift that just keeps on giving, literally! I love the nuggets of wisdom and goodness that come from these chocolate wrappers.

"Claim your happiness; dance to your own music."

"Find a way to make a part of your day like your day off."

We just returned from a vacation weekend to Santa Monica and Santa Barbara, warm weather, no need for gloves, hats, or shovels. I still have sand in my shoes, but today I will find a way to make part of my day like my day off, and every day for that matter.

Thanks dove.

Oprah says...

2010-01-12T21:36:00.001-08:00

Today as I drove past a gas station promoting the Car Washes, I noticed the sign that said "Oprah says wash your car."

So, when exactly did Oprah's wisdom become so insightful you ask yourself? What did I do before Oprah was around to offer such profound advice? What will I do after her show goes off the air? How would I have known whether or not to wash my car if Oprah had not told me? Was this on the list of Oprah's favorite things? Can I buy a T-shirt on the Oprah webstore of this quote? Is this advice along with other nuggets of wisdom in her book for purchase? Will this be a ride at Oprah's themepark someday? If Oprah told me to jump off a bridge, would I do it?

I am sure all the same questions raced through your mind as it did mine when passing the billboard.

Ok so my intention is not to Oprah bash. In fact, I think Oprah's a fine gal and quite successful at what she has created. But really, are we really at the point we need to know what Oprah's advice is in order to make decisions? She still just a human with her own share of problems, struggling with weight, relationships, and what dress to wear. But wait maybe that is what makes her so appealing, after all, she said it herself, "I'm every woman." She is as fallible as the next, and that makes her all appealing to identify with.

I don't get it. And Oprah says, thats ok.

cooking sunday dinner?!?

2010-01-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

I have always thought for years that the moment I became a wife somehow the powers of amazing cooking would be endowed into my hands, a right of passage right??? I figured, I make the commitment to marriage, God gives me the skills. I have learned through 'experience', that brutal, harsh, and most often undesired teacher, that well life couldn't be that simple. Julia Child wasn't magical from the start, in fact, she couldn't even cut an onion, and went on to mess up plenty along the way, but she didn't give up.

Today I felt the desire to cook a nice sunday dinner, with a birthday in lieu, and family coming to join, a time to make things especially nice! What have I learned from today? Things never work out as I plan, and more importantly NEVER, and I repeat NEVER try out three new recipes you are unfamiliar with in one meal, you set yourself up for dissapointment. The menu seemed so lush I had planned: Pot Roast with a sweet tomato olive tapenade, roasted potatoes in olive oil & pepper, Sweet dinner rolls, spinach salad with parmesan & candied almonds, and last but not least, dessert: Sour Cream chocolate cake, with a fudge icing. Well, this overly amazing meal plan came out anything but amazing.

With a new 9-12 church schedule and dinner at 5:30pm, I was delighted to know I would have all the time needed to perfect this quest. How did it go? When I arrived home at 12:30 I realized that I hadn't started the roast, a bit of discouragement set in, but lest I fail I went to work. The phone rang, mother in law Karen, had some BBQ beef she had been simmering all night, and was so excited to share. Alright Karen, thanks for making up for my lack of preparation, yes maam! So with the main dish on the way, I could relax and enjoy making some of my favorite things cake and rolls! I thought things would be easy, but as I began the roll dough, I realized, 'hey, you've actually never made rolls before.' And actually, 'I am not so certain if you did that right' feeling set in all along the way, sheesh. The recipe called for way more flour than I would have thought, I didn't follow my intuition, and hence, over dry tough dough that didn't rise. Arghhh, 'its ok' I tell myself. Nothing makes up for a not so good meal than an amazing cake. As I entered the world of homemade cakes, I was enthralled from start to finish, dough, a bit thick but divine! If the dough is good, how can the cake be bad. I did feel like the cake was low in butter, but I didn't realize how low, until it baked, and came out well, sort of dry and blahhh! Not the creamy moisture that sour cream should provide.

Between rising of dough and baking, the potatoes needed attention. Typically roasted potatoes take quite a time in the oven and don't seem to be soft on the inside, to help this along, I took the inspiration to boil them for a few minutes, softening the inside, and then go for the oven. Well, it kind of workws, in fact this was the most redeeming and well eaten portion of the meal, but the potatoes did get a bit mushy for oven-roasted.

Back to rolls, although dare I mention the catastrophe they were. It would have been better to have thrown away the dough long before the complete disappointment, they were disadvantaged from the beginning. But like my mom always taught me, never throw anything away that has potential. I tried to find potential in dead dough, there in lied my error. So with my over-dry dead dough, I attempted to shape them into rolls, hoping the heat would somehow miraculously turn them into something they were not, a divine goddess of buttery smooth goodness. No such luck, turns out a rough start ends in a rough end. They did have a slight redeeming value despite their topsy turvy lives, but dry, dense and over-baked would be the most honest evaluation.

The only thing worse than one failure is, well, three, and all in one night. Happy birthday, not, yucky, tasteless, and dry! But in all the mess of what I sometimes call my life, I take solace in one thing. It's a small thing, and silly as it may seem, it has come at different moments of life and inspired me to new heights. So whether you put in clout in fortune cookies, horoscopes what have you, I think god speaks to me at times through the wrappers of Dove chocolates. He truly must know, that when all is lost, when utter despair has set in, that nothing can console our broken spirit like a piece of divine chocolate. So let me know what god told me after this failure of a meal, as my fingers opened the wrapper, 'Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."

Really, it's true, that in the darkest moments of cooking, in the utter failures of new challenges, a chocolate wrapper provides the wisdom that my life needs. The buddhist belief everything in life is their teacher. Well dove, thank for teaching, god thanks for sharing, husband thanks for dealing with my craziness, and still liking my not so good food.

Pure in heart

2010-01-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

Jacob gave us a great promise regarding the pure in heart.

"O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his ^alove"(Jacob 3:2). He taught us the pleasing word of God "healeth the wounded soul" (Jacob 2:8).

I love you

2010-01-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

Today, my dove promise told me, and I quote, "Learn to say, 'I love You' in a different language." Who am I to disobey an order given from a chocolate wrapper? Since I already know spanish (Te amo) I figure that one is too easy, so let's go for a few more fun ones...

Ti amo, Italian

Je t'aime, French

Mina rakastan sinua, Finnish

Ya lyublyu tebya, Russian

Jag a lskar dig, Swedish

Phom Rak Khun, Thai

Toi yeu em, Vietnamese

Kimi o ai shiteru, Japanese

Success

2010-01-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

"Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go." My Dove Promise 1.4.10

Trials

2010-01-04T10:10:00.001-08:00

"If we allowed them to, trials would purify us rather than defeat us." Spencer W. Kimball

It's a new year, and well....

2010-01-03T22:21:00.001-08:00

what am I seeking? As I ponder this, I think of what Julie Powell learned from her inspiration Julia Child in her blog of The Julie & Julia Project (a newfound inspiration), "Perhaps that was the talent she discovered in herself at the age of 37, at the Cordon Bleu School in Paris – the thirst to keep finding out, the openness to experience that makes life worth living.." http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/

I don't know if I will ever be a fabulous cookie baker or amazing cook, but just like Julia, I will never give up.

What love is...

2009-12-30T22:09:00.000-08:00

Nearing the conclusion of this fine year, 2009, I come back to the original intention/theme that kicked it off to such a grand start, love. It seems as an all too well suited theme, given that Jan 2009 began with a brand new marriage. Several years back I decided rather than setting New Years Resolutions, to set an intention/theme for the year, allowing me to be less attached to results and more interested in the journey. 2007-Living the dream, 2008-Balance, 2009-Love.

So how did it go? Well, 2007 & 2008 I wrote in my journal diligently each day, I read books on the topics, searched for mentors, and made many decisions to bring my intention into harmony. This year didn't bring any of that, there was no daily journaling, no searching the globe for examples, and no reading pop psychology to understand it better. I suppose you could say, this year, I just wanted to experience it, in the most natural way possible. Several months out of this year I wondered if I was even honoring my intention, but as I began to doubt, the truth of experience came back with a vengeance to let me know I had.

What I have learned has been far different than what I could have possible expected, and the only way to have learned it, experience. Most of these understandings have come just in the last week of this year, not throughout as I may have hoped, rather like many things in life, clarity dominates in those final sweet moments. The last few days of 2009 have been full of insight, perspective, understanding, and most of all love. To best communicate my journey this year let me share what I have learned love to be, as well as, what love is not. As you read the list I invite you to stop and ponder as you go, if something hits home stop and ask yourself why. Relish in truth of what love is to you, and dig deep into what brings love into your life, as well as what pushes it away. And most of all, love, love god, love others, love yourself, and love for no reason at all.

What love is:

Love is knowing the sun will rise, each brand new day.

Love is a tender words of encouragement.

Love is honesty.

Love is knowledge.

Love is more than knowing the right thing to do, its doing the right thing despite opposition.

Love is looking past weaknesses.

Love is communication.

Love is listening.

Love is intimate.

Love is universal.

Love is peaceful.

Love is content.

Love is an inner manifestation.

Love is real.

Love is the greatest motivator.

Love is God.

Love if living life to its fullest.

Love is family.

Love is kindness.

Love is consistency.

Love is preparation.

Love is work.

Love is commitment.

Love is compromise.

Love is diligent.

Love is giving without thought of return.

Love is the past, the present, and the future.

Love is the greatest journey that exists.

Love is tender moments, big and small.

Love is discipline.

Love is respect.

Love is setting and honoring boundaries with others and ourselves.

Love is in all, above all, and underneath all.

Love is the greatest gift.

Love is everything.

Love is not...

Love is not fear.

Love is not doubt.

Love is not selfishness.

Love is not proud.

Love is not always fair.

Love is not manipulative.

Love is not deceptive.

Love is not greedy.

Love is not alone, sad, or boring.

Love is not apathetic.

Love is not complacency.

Love is not angry.

Love is not fake.

Love is not short tempered.

Love is not impatient.

Love is not the easiest route.

Love is not always being right.

Love is not rude or hurtful.

Love is not demeaning.

Love is not demanding beyond our abilities.

Love is not a way of understanding only those closest to you.

Love is not only for you and me.

Love is intimate.

Love is universal.

Stepping Back to move forward

2009-12-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

In the practice of yoga, we often back off of things prior to proceeding. For example, I lower down on my belly, before rising up in a backbend. The sun salutation, is a series 9-17 postures, one in which there is closing in, followed by a rising up. I am certain the opening posture could not happen if it did not follow a closing in posture. This closing in and opening up is a theme that weaves through the entirety of the practice, after all it is a balance. A fine balance, effort and ease in perfect tandem.

As it becomes more natural on the mat, the challenge comes in applying this principle to off the mat. I often have a desire to race through my day completing all the tasks that require energy up front. While this has the underpinnings of a successful practice, the problem exists when the determination takes over to complete EVERYTHING, before allowing a sweet surrender to enter in. Going and going with fierce determination seems to set in, and letting go becomes only a very small exonerated portion of the day that happens before bedtime. This does seem to work on some level, but too much determination certainly makes it challenging to let go when the time comes. Many worship vacations and time off work, to relax and step back, I think it is a daily practice, that enhances our every day experience. By taking the time to step back each day, I reconnect with my breath, I acknowledge divinity, and I remember how sweet it is to simply be still. The allows me to approach the day with a new sense of well being and wholeness, able to, well, move forward.

Sacred Space

2009-12-14T08:46:00.002-08:00

The kitchen to me is a sacred space. Albeit ours is small and humble, it is to me the landscape of creation. In the sacred walls of the kitchen, the combination of heavenly ingredients intermingle in a most melodic formula to produce an amazing end result. The fusion of life's offsprings creates new life.

But, come on Connie, it's just a cookie. No, it's so much more, its Cookie Paradise.

I clean my kitchen insidiously, almost to the point of compulsively, because to me the vessel in which creation comes must be completely pure. I would hate for any morsel of toxicity to enter into a new unblemished creation. This simply seems wrong. Any of those that know me, and as my husband will attest, it is a painstaking process to make certain these creations are developed in a pure environment, brought to life in the exact timing of their oven, and then carefully packaged and presented to their new home. It is a labor of love, that seems often to go far beyond the call of duty, but I can't help it. It seems a part of my nature as the creator to give an inordinate amount of love and attention to each cookie creation, letting each one be personally touched, shaped, packaged, and offered to a worthy partaker. It's in my blood to create more than just a cookie, indeed, in my kitchen it falls nothing short of cookie paradise.

Our Christmas Prescription

2009-12-13T19:04:00.000-08:00

There is no denying it's the holiday season. Our Christmas wish to you this year:

And just by way of clearing up any confusion. No, I was not really in the hospital.

I wasn't even trying to capture a kodak moment

2009-12-02T21:20:00.001-08:00

It just happened. Apparently, Bear likes to knit as much as I do.

Like it or not...

2009-11-23T14:02:00.000-08:00

Utah has domesticated me...

Oh how I have fought domestication for years, about 12 to be exact. At the ripe age of 18 I realized the role of women was quite a contrast than that of men, but I vowed at that time to be just as independent, self reliant as any man could every be.

Well, tough cookie, you made it. Luckily you didn't get so crusty that no man ever wanted to bite into you.

This is the epiphany of the day. Bye, bye city girl, no more NYC to take care of every convenience on earth. No more paying someone to wash and fold my clothes. Ok, so those of you that know me well know I am way too cheap to have ever payed for that service, but I did splurge on a housecleaner.

New York City is said to be a city that is 'full of convenience'. As I reflect on my experience there, I would say it is 'inconveniently convenient.' Truly it is glut with conveniences, a convenience store on every corner. The only thing that makes them inconvenient, hmmm, they close at 8pm, when you never ever get home from work before 9pm. You have to pack all your groceries home with your own two hands. I did however have the privilege of living in Harlem, which meant the collapsable grocery cart is your friend. In my NYC hood, if you don't see several on every street corner, something just feels wrong.

That said, I am now a wife. I am female through and through. I am not ashamed to admit my favorite color is pink.

I like to bake cookies,

I like to make people feel good, I like to cook,

I like to create a comfy home,

and I absolutely adore sweet kisses,

and yes someday I even want babies. You got it, all the characteristics of a woman.

There is no denying or hiding any longer. I probably took longer than most to realize and honor my femininity, I never really wanted a child for a long time, I just didn't know what I would do with it. When the friends got married at 18 yrs old in college I balked at the tenacity of such a choice. I know have arrived, resistant as I might. But Connie, it's time to let go of the resistance. After working in Banking for 7 years, finishing my education, purchasing 2 homes, pursuing my passions, and living the dream, it's time to move on. I am grateful for the experiences I've had that have led me to where I am today. But the feeling often comes that of all the accomplishments that can be attained in this world, nothing compares to that of a having a family. I suppose I am finally growing up, which is so much better than growing down.

Love is in the air...

2009-11-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

As I breathe in love fills not only the spaces within me but all the space around me, enveloping, all consuming. The all consuming love that I can feel, surely must come from a being much greater than myself. It is hard to define this type of love, and my mortal mind can hardly comprehends it's depth.

Every now and then, ok, all the time, I limit the power of love to what my mind can understand. Then I seemed to be reminded, of course from the mouthpiece of God, that love truly is a much stronger force than I originally envisioned. As 2009 rolls to an end, I am reminded that the theme of this year is Love. I initially thought the new marriage began would be the apex of that theme. Well, certainly it is a part, but as I come full circle from Jan 24, 2009, the day Micah and I were sealed, to November 22, 2009 (1 year after moving to Utah), I realize that the love that has deepened more than I could have fathomed, is not just the love of a spouse, but the love of God. And the truth is God's love has always been present, only my openness to receiving it fades in and out. I recognize that this gift, the love of God, makes possible the love of a human relationship. There simply is no other way. This is not the prescribed outcome I had anticipated in the first 10 months of marriage. But, it is the outcome I needed.

When we set an intention at the start of a yoga practice, it is often set only to allow us to be open to the possibility that the intention might shift or change completely. Sometimes this is anticipated, most often, it is not, but it is always what needs to happen. This inherent beauty of the practice, when the flow takes over, allows divine wisdom to manifest itself. We just make an offering with full trust that what needs to happen, will indeed happen. And with that trust, it always does.

To know the God's love indeed is the "center of ALL" as spoken by Elder Uchtdorf in Oct Conference, sharpens my desires to let love be at the heart of every decision, large or small. To taste and savor the love present in all things, seems a noble pursuit. My vision has shifted, but my intent the same, to honor the love of God in all things, and to participate in it's transformative powers.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2009-11-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Is it too early for Christmas decorations? My answer has been yes for years, feeling that poor Thanksgiving gets the raw end of the stick in the shadow of Christmas anticipation. In my childhood the tree and all decorations always waited until the day after Thanksgiving. My husband likes things a bit different, and he decided to start on the outdoor lights, which led to a candy cane pole, and then some candy canes to frame the house, and a 6 ft toy soldier (one of Micah's favorite Christmas gifts).

Then believe it or not, it was actually myself that suggested we add the tree into the mix, and Micah had to get his usual Hallmark collection ornaments of a plane an motorcycle to adorn it. He is proudly up to 13 years on this collection.

So now we have tree, chimney with stockings, and full house of Christmas decorations. I even topped it off today with a 24 day advent calender! Oh what joy fills our house and hearts! The outer decor is just an manifestation of the inner joy this holiday offers!

Please forgive me sweet Thanksgiving for shadowing you in the least, I am deeply grateful for you. It just so happened that Christmas has come early this year, and we are flowing with it.

Oatmeal Scotchies

2009-11-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

Oatmeal Scotchies

Ok, so the truth is I make, bake, and consume cookies year round, regardless of the season, but there is something wonderful about Christmas time upon us that delights my soul in the smell of cookies. With the inception of Connie's Cookies this year, the good old oatmeal scotchie almost seemed forgotten until I was quickly reminded while staring at a bag of Butterscotch chips today at Super Target. I just knew they had to come home with me.

This baby combines the goodness of an oatmeal cookie, but cuts out the raisins which almost might be too healthy, and adds some butterscotch yumminess. The recipe is quite traditional but I love to add my own little variations to make it feel like my own. The rice crispies and pudding are optional (but they sure are fun!)

Another reason I can't wait to open a Connie's Cookie Paradise where you can individualize your own little dreams. Here is how todays creation came together.

Note: This is for high altitude (4500 ft), if at sea level decrease flour 1/4 cup, and increase baking powder 1/2 tsp.

Ingredients:

3 cups Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

3 cups oats

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg (opt)

1/8 tsp clove (opt)

1 tsp sea salt

Mix all dry ingredients above in a bowl, set aside.

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup canola oil

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1 small 4 oz. butterscotch pudding snack

2 eggs

1-2 tsp vanilla

Cream together butter, sugar, add oil. Add butterscotch pudding snack, 2 eggs, and vanilla, mix until well combined. Add dry ingredients. Mix slowly until just combined.

Mix-ins

1 cup rice crispies

1 - 1 1/2 cup butterscotch chips (to your liking)

Mix-in by hand. Refrigerate dough for 1-24 hours for best flavor. Bake in preheated oven 350 degrees 8-12 minutes depending on size of cookie.

Enjoy!

Like home again...

2009-11-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

My mission president's wife used to always say "Bloom where you are planted." I have been fighting blooming in Bountiful, UT. Not sure why? Maybe I miss the experiences I had in New York, the people I met, the souls that taught me, the life I gained, the cozy little studio I made my own. As cliche as it may sound, I could say "I found myself in NYC." Self realization dawned on me in greater magnitude than ever it had before. I fell in love in New York, fell in love with life.

One of my wise yoga teachers used to say "The only constant thing in life is change." So why do I fight this change so? I don't see the whole picture, but I am doing my best "to bloom where I am planted", as sweet Sister Pullan suggested. So thanks to some improvements to my outer world, my inner world is feeling more like home...

Bye bye fluorescent bulbs, welcome hallogen! Amazing what a new light can do.

A little office to call my own,

oh sweet hooks, you give bag and jacket a home.

Big palm, and,

little palms, the air already feels better.

A painted hallway, so trips to the bathroom and bedroom are much more pleasing. And last but not least...

A little spot for yoga. I have some plans for this space also, but one thing at a time.

Thanks to my sweet husband who braved the 4 hr Ikea trip, a 3 hour assembly jobs, and countless hours of hearing me complain. Oh how I love you. But our efforts this weekend are pale in comparison to the months of effort my sweet husband put into remodeling the home 3 1/2 years ago when he purchased it. Little did he know he was creating a home, not just for himself, but he was creating a home for us.

After all, life isn't really about the great big moments, rather it's about making a great big deal out of the small moments.

Indeed, it is starting to feel like home again... and what makes it feel that way more than all the home improvements combined...

My first gluten free cake...

2009-10-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

Double Chocolate with Swiss Cream Meringue frosting!

A success with no collapsing in the center or uncooked areas, and I actually think it tasted good.
and if you are worried about the extra pounds, try my father in laws jiggle machine, it will melt right off!

Sunshine in my soul today

2009-10-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

The only words I have to describe how I feel are not my own... they have been running through my mind all day long...

There is sunshine in my soul today,

More glorious and bright

Than glows in any earthly sky,

For Jesus is my light.

Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine

When the peaceful happy moments roll.

When Jesus shows his smiling face,

There is sunshine in the soul.

Wednesday began with an amazing yoga class at the Bountiful Davis Arts Center! The first one, and there was 10 of us! Loved it! It was wonderful to see so many beautiful faces I haven't seen and some trying yoga for the first time. We let today be an offering to something other than ourselves. My offering is to my creator, the source of all the abundance I experience daily.

It got even better when I taught at Welcome Home, an assisted living center. Their are amazingly sweet little ladies that come each week to experience Yoga. I greet them individually, we have a 30 minute class, and I leave by saying goodbye to each individually. What stood out to me today was my sweet Bessie, as I asked her how she felt after our practice before leaving, she told me as she often does "Oh, well I try my best, but I am just not sure if I am doing it right." I replied, "but Bessie, YOU DID IT." And then it came, that soft gentle tug on my heart that invited me to ask Bessie, "Bessie, did you enjoy your experience?" As the tear rolled down my face, Bessie's discouragement turned to a warm glow, hope filled her eyes, and she replied with a warm smile, "YES". The question of "Did you enjoy your experience?" pierced my soul in a way it never had before as it cam out of my own mouth. I recognized in that moment I was being taught from on high. I visualized myself beyond the mortal frame before my creator, and he wasn't there saying, "Connie why did you do this or why did you do that, sheesh, what were you thinking?" He wasn't judging all the little details of my life, my mistakes, or overanalyzing the details. Rather he reacted the way I felt with Bessie today, he simply was so pleased that 'I did it'! And the question again resounded through my entire being "Did you enjoy your experience?" I don't know for certain if this is a question we may be asked someday, but I felt the need to have an answer for that particular question at the end of my journey on earth. For the first time, I didn't just 'know', but I felt the gift of 'joy' in our lives. I have always known the small decisions aren't everything, but I like most get caught in the small details of daily living. When I step outside of that thinking and give my mind and heart space, it is filled with the all consuming love and truth of a heavenly being. The Creator that seeks for my very existence to be full of joy. There indeed IS sunshine in my soul today.

The things I can't live without...

2009-10-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

Love,

Breath,

Food and Water,

A connection to source,

and now, me sweet Micah.

Why is it that we don't really appreciate things until they are gone or almost gone? I was thinking about this concept quite a bit today. We place more value on things when they are scarce. We value our income more in a recession, heat when the furnace is broken, breathing when air quality is poor, food after fasting, and spirituality when we have allowed the demands of life to take precedence. It is a privilege of mine daily to take a moment just to acknowledge and value my breath, without which I would not be alive and experience what I do. This acknowledgement of breath connects me to the essence of life and divine creator which grants me daily breath. When I get caught up in the complexities of life, which I so often do, it is that sacred moment I step back and realize what matters most of all. The true essence of who we really are is always there.

This past week we went for about 5 days without a working furnace. A little control panel came and saved the day on Wed. I appreciate warmth.

When I lived in NYC I learned to really appreciate any sunshine I could get, in the midst of all the buildings.

And after 31 years of being single, I appreciate the sweet kisses of my husband.

I have so much, I am richly blessed.

Faith

2009-10-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was reminded again of the power of God, through his prophet, disciples, and witnesses. The Brother of Jared had the faith that I aspire to have someday. He also knew the Lord's power looked "small unto the understanding of man." (Ether 5:3) The world can never teach what the spirit can. In 8-10 hours of conference there was more truth shared than an entire lifetime of teachings that the world could offer. It is amazing what the lord offers us for hope in these latter days. I am blessed.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

2009-10-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

I was fascinated with the first line of "The tale of two cities", but I'll be candid, that was about as far as my investigation went. I'm pretty sure I appreciated it as much as cliff notes allowed me too, but it wasn't my favorite read as a sophmore in highschool. Someday I will revisit it and read thoroughly.

However I can't think of any better way to descride this week than that. It has been a week of extremes: summer to winter weather, a huge tree to no tree in our yard, little work to lots of work, clean house to AHHH!, hot house to chilly house, white walls to painted walls, and finally but not least a/c to heat to NO furnace. All these changes are good I'm sure, but sometimes as I go through them, I am wondering while they all happen at once? Does anyone have this figured out, why life is peaceful and then everything goes wrong at once? Ok, not everything, thats an exaggeration, I still have my saviors love, my cute hubbie, and the things that matter most! But really what is the dealio?

Let me give you a sample: on Monday I was cleaning the kitchen and moving around a few things in the fridge. I picked up the bottle of Homemade spaghetti sauce that I had simmered for 12 hours and...

Not only did it get the floor, but every other nook and cranny in the surrounding area including my pants. Gross, it reminded me of when I threw up on a girl sitting in front of me in 2nd grade. Poor girl.

That was repaired quickly but Tuesday brought it's own mass destruction. Micah has been excited to get rid of our Box Elder tree for sometime, and with next week as pick-up week, he couldn't miss the opportunity. And it's a good thing he did when he did given that the 85 degree temp on tuesday dropped to mid 40's on wednesday.

This change in temperature was all ok, as it gave me the opportunity on Wednesday to finally paint the hallway as I have wanted to for some time.

Before

And After... there was lots and lots of corners to work around!

The problem came in when cooling temperatures required the furnace. Micah turned it on, but then it stopped coming on, and temperatures slowly dropped. That means aside from the warmth of the cookie oven, cold, cold, cold!

It wouldn't be so bad except Micah has the busiest week at work given he works at the Ticket office at the LDS conference center. He doesn't have lots of extra time to repair a furnace with conference this weekend. I have been known to be able to spend lots of time outside of the house for the most part, but this week I've had significantly less yoga classes to teach, only 5, and I simply don't find bountiful all that exciting. So while Micah is busy away from home at work, I am shivering in a lonely house with little work. I'm not all that pathetic though, I did spend 5 hours at the Yoga studio this morning, teaching and taking class, basking in warmth of a heater that works and a body that moves!

So, it was the best of times, and the worst of times. But I have a feeling things will only get better, and worse...

My 'ode' to yoga...

2009-09-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been pondering my love and loyalty to practicing and teaching yoga over the last 7-8 years. Why do I love it so? Because it first loved me? From the very first yoga class I developed an uncanny attraction to yoga. While yoga is not a physical being that has the ability to love, it allowed me to give something back to myself. It wasn't like any other exercise class I had ever been in, it didn't matter if I got the pose just right, and it didn't matter if I didn't look like my neighbor. All that seemed to matter was that I honored me, honored my abilities, honored my individuality, and honored my body. After leaving yoga class, I found that I always slept better that night, that I felt more calm and peaceful. For the first time, exercise took on love rather than drudgery or punishment. Comparing or judging yourself was strongly discouraged in yoga class, and no real end result was necessary to attain. It became more than exercise to me, it became a practice of unconditional love. It helped peal away the layers of hurt, insecurity, fear, doubt. In many ways aside from the Gospel, it was the first thing in my life I have ever REALLY committed to.

The commitment to yoga preceded many other commitments in my life: recommitment to my savior, a commitment to happiness, a commitment to a life of love instead of fear, a commitment to following passions, a commitment to my husband, and a commitment to living life to it's fullest.

My favorite teacher, Alan Finger, who has taught yoga and meditation for over 40 years often gets the question "why practice yoga?" His answer is always the same,'because it allows YOU to become who YOU really are.' I have always loved his response and likened it to my own situation. Today as I listened to meditation CD I was reminded again of this. But today the works took on a whole new meaning. Becoming who 'I' really am, does not mean becoming like my neighbor, or my sister, or my friend, or my yoga teacher. Becoming who 'I' really am is becoming the best 'Connie.' Somewhere in the tumult of life I have given in to the temptation to compare myself with those around me. As I have done this I have unfairly compared my weaknesses with other's strengths. As I have looked at my environment I have seen only what I lack, or where I am deficient. With only looking at the many things I am not doing, I have overlooked all the things I do, and can do. It has brought me down to a place of insurmountable deficiencies, and feeling alone in a pit in which I can't crawl out. Last night as the wind swept through the trees and our home, the never-ending instability of the weather mirrored the instability of my heart. For a moment I felt me feeble heart had ceased. I felt paralyzed with fear, with apprehension, with doubt, and uncertainty. It became so overwhelming I couldn't sleep or rest. I applied my yoga techniques to calm the mind, but nothing seemed to really help. I didn't fall asleep for several hours and when I did, my mind still raced with vivid dreams.

This morning as I once again revisited Alan's response 'yoga helps you become the person you really are,' I finally realized that I don't have to become anyone else. I don't have to waste time and precious energy trying to become another person that I am not. God knows me and loves me for who I am, not my neighbor. I realized that in addition to all the wonderful gifts of yoga, that it has also helped me to see things more clearly, to perceive and understand things as they really are. It clears the maya (illusion) and taps us into our abundance and grace.

I can hardly believe that after practicing yoga for years I have never made this connection, but I suppose this is the power of a practice that always gives back. As I give to yoga, it gives back to me. Yoga in sanskrit, means 'union' or 'oneness'. It is when we align our mind, body, and spirit to become 'one' that we can access higher realms of consciousness, and become who 'YOU" really are.

They found Joy in Cooking and Joy in Life.

2009-09-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

These are the words on the cover "The Lynn Family Recipes," a beautiful addition to my collection of cookbooks I received this weekend. I was pleased to have the opportunity to apprentice one of the finest bakers north of Salt Lake I have ever met. A kind Jerry Lynn invited me into his home, into his baking delights, and into his joyful world. The Lynn cookbook was just one small token of the visit, the knowledge and experience however far surpassing the recipes. I learned on Friday, that simple Jerry Lynn is a master in his own right. He can make more cinnamon rolls and fresh bread than probably all of our efforts combined. The most impressive part, it's all by hand. The only modern devices he uses is a mixer and an oven, the rest is from the palm of his hand. As I watched his hands and feet shuffle around the kitchen, I observed Jerry in 'his flow'. It was clear the kitchen is 'his' domain. He has a familiarity and efficiency that surpasses our everyday use of the kitchen. He told me that during busy seasons he produced up to 80 dozen cinnamon rolls and 140 dozen muffins. Jerry owned a bakery for many years in South Bountiful area. If you are familiar you may remember his incredible cinnamon roles or fresh pies.

How did I encounter such a mentor of baked goods? The meeting of Jerry Lynn has been magical from the start. He is my neighbor at the Bountiful Farmers Market and a backyard Beekeeper of 20-60,000 bees. He sell his honey that he bottles in his own home, and friends there simply is no better honey out there. At first meeting I may have thought that his skills stopped at Beekeeping alone, but little did I know the baking genius that lied beneath. Jerry was kind and inquisitive of my small cookie business and eager to help teach me cinnamon roles. I mentioned to him that I felt good with cookies and Gluten Free, but the thought of Gluten Full flours and yeast made me as nervous as a little girl. In fact, we can blame this on my mother but she never cared to make fresh bread other than a bread machine and her first experience as a child baking bread it turned out like a brick. I had assumed it simply wasn't worth learning. Well, I was wrong.

Baking bread is a science, an art, and gets better with experience. Jerry doesn't have to analyze or read recipes, baking bread is a part of who he is, it's second nature. I feel this way with cookies, but not with bread, and not with golf. Perhaps someday I will, but I realized that while we take these skills and dilute them with modern appliances, technology, and quickie solutions, there is simply no substitute for the hand made process of making and shaping bread. Yeast is living, so we treat is kindly and let it multiply in it's element. It isn't as temperamental as I once thought after understanding the properties in which it likes to grow.

Life has turned around for me, for years I spent time trying to climb the corporate ladder, find more money, bigger homes, faster ways of doing things. Now I find solace in the simple beauty of life, in a small garden, in a simple pose, in working with my hands, and leaving a labor of love in my path.

Jerry left me with a new found knowledge that I certainly couldn't place a price tag. His knowledge come from generations of finding joy in cooking and joy in life. I am certainly not convinced that I will own a bakery with yeast breads, but I do know see the love and dedication it takes produce a legacy.

Dreams....

2009-09-22T15:05:00.000-07:00

I have been having a lot of dreams lately. The kind you wake up thinking, 'wow that was random'. Lots of Dreams. Dreams about cookies, dreams about yoga, dreams about friends, dreams about clouds, dreams of success, and dreams of dreaded failure. Every time I wake up from these random dreams I realize that my reality far exceeds any dream I could ever have.

I wake up every day realizing I am not alone....

In fact, I have the best friend any one could ever wish for...

He's playful...

He loves beautiful places...

And kisses...

He likes to get his feet wet...

and he drinks lots of milk for strong bones...

But most of all he is always by my side when I need him most...

My sweet Micah asked for my hand in marriage Oct. 26th 2008. As we returned to Cannon Beach, Oregon this last week, I was reminded how sweet it is to be loved by him, and how he makes life far exceed my dreams.

For the love...

2009-09-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

Of cookies. These are not my words, and I typically like to share my own, but this ode to Cookies spoke to my soul, moved me profoundly, and helped me realize there are others that feel as strongly about an amazing Gluten Free cookie as I do.

So Katrina Allrich, thank you, thank you, and thank you.

"My Ode to Cookies

Life is short, number one. And just because I have celiac disease doesn't mean I surrender to a life without chocolate chip cookies. And coffee laced cookies. And mint chocolate chip cookies. I'm not giving up on warm-from-the-oven melty chocolate goodness. I'm most definitely not settling for any month old pre-packaged gluten-free poor excuse for a cookie. No way. Not gonna happen.

Because a good cookie is no small thing.

A good cookie can make you smile, even after a long, achingly crappy day. A good cookie might even bring you a kiss. Or little arms of appreciation wrapped around your neck. A good cookie might make you a new friend. Or prove to the class that you're not a total, allergic freak living on weirdo food that you have to feel sorry for and throw bread balls at.

A good cookie can make you feel like you belong."

Beautiful

Axelism's

2009-09-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to love any kids more than how much I love these?

After having the wonderful opportunity to spend time with our niece and nephew, Solei and Axel, I am not sure if it is possible to adore them more than I do now. I would like to place them in a bottle and keep them eternally young. My sister, Sharon and hubbie Nate went off to San Fran for the weekend and Micah and I played mom and dad. Spending time with them was a great reminder of how the simple things in life are so darn exciting!

We had all sorts of fun adventures from Swiss Days,

to petting horses,

eating yummy food,

collecting and painting acorns,

swimming and playgrounds,

picking in the garden,

cutting out doll dresses and coupons,

camping out in the backyard,

discovering giraffes,

looking at the neighbors rock collections,

church and more. Through out the weekend I payed special attention to my little 3 yr old nephew's comments as they were rather witty for a 3 yr old. He definitely echos his older sister quite a bit, but he had some great one liners that must be captured.

While we were walking home from church Sunday some of the 16 yr olds from church where being kind of rowdy in their pickup and honking the horn loudly. Axel had just the right comment as we were crossing the street when he said "They can't honk their horn, they can't honk their horn, Jesus is WATCHING them!" This kid is pretty close to the spirit.

Later that night we were looking for Bear, the stuffed animal, who was lost in the sleeping bag. Axel was quite concerned and said "Where is he? He can't walk away. He isn't real." I commented to Micah "Wow Axel is smart!", Axel piped up, "I am."

This is a kid who knows how life works and he's only three. We were so fortunate to spend some time with them and have sweet Sarah Astill hang out with us also. Fortunately, I think Micah is now ecstatic to start having some little ones of our own!

Firm, steadfast, and immovable

2009-09-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

As I was a child I remember going to church and hearing in Sunday school about how we are in the last days? I always thought "how could the day's end?" It perplexed me as a youngster but as I have grown, and delved into the scriptures, I recognize the "last days" refers to the second coming of our Savior. I read the Book of Mormon, and whether you consider yourself Mormon or not, I love the teachings this book imparts of the Savior appearance in the americas. It is undoubtedly the best book I have found to share insight on preparing for the return of our Savior.

As I was reading today in 3 Nephi 6, I was reminded of the great wickedness and calamity the preceded the Savior's visit. There was a great amount of wickedness, and as I compare that to our day, I recognize that things have come full circle. The evil about us today is all around, it does surround us on every side, temptations do abound. All sorts of distractions distance us from our God, and dull us to the light of Christ. Sometimes I identify with Nephi in his heartfelt prayer when he is pained by the small sins that detract him from his course.

This great book, The Book of Mormon, imparts great wisdom, and I am reminded of this each time I read in it. This morning it became increasingly apparent that I follow the specific counsel and wisdom of 3 Nephi 6: 14 to combat such perils in our day. I absolutely must be "firm, and steadfast, and immovable, willing with all^bdiligence to keep the commandments of the Lord." Firm, steadfast, and immovable; the image that conjures up in my mind when I think on those words, is a rock. This week in primary we sang 'The wise man and the foolish man'. I love this song, because it is so simple, we can build ourselves on sand and be washed away when the storm comes,

or we can build upon the rock, and stand still through the storm.

Now is the time to decide, to be like the foolish man or the wise man. The last days are upon, wickedness is spreading hour by hour; and I can build myself upon sand or the rock. I have the choice, but to me their really isn't a choice, because I have already chosen a path to return to my father. To me the rock provides the "firm, steadfast, and immovable" foundation that I seek to get me there safely.

In Yoga classes I often ask students to balance on one foot for an extended period of time (like 60-90 seconds). Ok, so not that long in the scheme of things, but feels like an eternity when you are doing it. Sometimes we just flow into the balance without advance notice and other times I prepare them mentally. I have noticed that when they are prepared in their minds, and visualize their standing foot as an anchor holding them, they seem to appear more firm, steadfast, and immovable. When we flow into the pose sometimes their is unsteadiness at the beginning, but as they trust in their support of the earth and their standing leg, they too become firm, steadfast, and immovable.

It is possible to balance without falling in the storms of life, but we must remember who we are, and where we are going, and most importantly to trust we will be supported every second.

Small Miracles

2009-09-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

Small miracles happen every day, let me tell you about one that has drastically shaped my life. It happened a little over a year ago, June 8, 2008, the DAY I met THE Micah Joel Day. Now you may think the small miracle was meeting this wonderful man, but let me explain, there's more....

You see at the time I was attending the Inwood 3rd Singles Ward on 204th st, conveniently located nearly 100 blocks away from my home on 112th street. With church located on the north end of Manhattan, it was easily a 45-95 minute commute to church. Sure it would have been loads easier to attend the Manhattan 8th ward, East side singles ward, or even the Harlem Ward as they were a 15-20 minute train ride away at most, but that wasn't were boundaries had placed me. Don't get me wrong I LOVED the Inwood 3rd Ward, but it was not the shortest trip to church!

Now with the subway being my sole transportation in the city, the infrequency of weekend train schedules, and the A/C train UNDER CONSTRUCTION every single Sunday from the day I moved to NYC, it was a miracle to even arrive at church at all. Depending on when you step foot in the Subway, taking 110th st, a local stop, was always a crabshoot. Somedays it was only 40 minutes, other days 95 minutes, no joke. The problem of express only or local only on the weekends was every stop, or no stops, and waiting for a train that only comes every 25 minutes and then switches to a SHUTTLE BUS. Which is really fantastic because a shuttle bus in NYC moves slightly faster than the pace of a turtle.

This combined with my already propensity to be late did not make for a good situation to arrive to 1pm church in a timely fashion. But a huge thanks to Tamara Duricka, who on several sundays remedied this by allowing me to drive to church with her!

So June 8, 2008 was an odd day. I was called to be a ward missionary a few weeks prior, and challenged to make friends and sit with newcomers in Sacrament Mtg. I suppose I took the challenge to heart because I was in the Subway by atleast 12:20pm, a miracle in and of itself. Then the train god's must have aligned to arrive me at church promptly at 12:55pm. With 5 minutes to spare, I hardly knew what to do with myself. Alas I remembered the mandate, welcome the newcomers. My dear friend Tamara Duricka was sitting with a friend by her side. Tamara often had out-of-towner's visiting her, and each of them I had instantly hit it off with. I knew any friend of Tamara was a friend of mine. So I went up to the 2nd row and met Micah Joel Day. At first I was slightly disappointed he was visiting from Bountiful, UT, but I put that aside and sought to get to know him better.

That afternoon was a linger longer, and we all know how the food can be at those. I went up to the linger longer and got hit in one of those awkward conversations with a nice guy you have no interest in and hate to have to reject if he asks you out. Tamara was making dinner, and as all Knight in Shining Armors do, Micah Joel Day interrupted to conversation to ask me over to Tamara's for a heartier meal than cookies and punch! Of course I couldn't turn him down. Bonus was a ride HOME from church, so NO 40-95 minute train rides for me!

I went back to Tamara's later that eve and enjoyed the good company. I also discovered this Bountiful Boy was quite a pistol, he had the same disdain for mormon single social affairs as I did, and we bonded just like that. Tamara had her boyfriend over, and I knew Micah needed a break from the couplehood which surrounded him. I was attending Stephanie Lebadies final Ballet performance at the Joffrey School that night with Kim Calder, my VT partner. I didn't think Micah would be very interested in a Ballet, especially with a girl he didn't know, but he decided to come when I asked. You see a missionary is always taught to invite, and invite I did!

That night Micah, Kim, and I attended the Ballet, it was fun to banter back and forth. We seemed to have a great conversation that lasted all the way home and for several more hours at my apartment. Not only did he watch Ballet, but he also ate my Vegan Gluten Free treats, while I was on the 9 day Vegan challenge. I knew he was a keeper. So despite lots of distance, Micah invited me to be his phone-a-friend, how could I turn him down.

So you see, the small miracle was that I was on time to church! From there I met Micah Joel Day and that night we began a conversation that has not ended. We've spent approx 400 hours on the phone, 140 hours in a car, and 213 days being married, and I LOVE to talk to Micah every day for as long as I can! I hope he will talk to me forever!

Not the end, just the beginning...

Facebook

2009-08-31T09:14:00.001-07:00

Ok, so really, I never anticipated this day would come, but it did. On saturday I did something I am not sure I can reverse(well actually, I suppose I can). I joined Facebook. After years of singlehood, I had decided that I simple did not want to be a part of social networking internet sites. I swore them off even if they were not linked to dating. I don't regret this decision, as it was a keen part of the transformational changes that came while discovering and deepening my yoga practice. One of my desires was to lead a life of simplicity. In NYC with the chaos of daily living and interacting with many people this worked out well.

Then I moved to Utah. Life is slightly more isolating the NYC, you don't walk out on the subway every day and see thousands of people before you

even get to work, you don't run into neighbors walking home, or at the yoga studio. I am still blessed to see many people each week through teaching, farmers market, etc, but I have realized that Facebook and/or Blogging is a connection to those that have shaped who I am today, my dear friends. On Saturday I set up the account with the motivation to become a fan of Connie's Cookies ( a page my husband set up). Once I did that, I suppose it makes sense to reconnect with all those friends from NYC and all over I haven't seen for some time. I am content for now, but I know I must place controls on it to not become a time sucker!

Check out Connie's Cookies on Facebook, become a fan! For the love of cookies, please!

Hearing what isn't being said...

2009-08-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking lately about how the best gifts in life are unseen. One of my favorite quotes I love to share in Yoga class is "The best part of communication is hearing what isn't being said".

Stop

Listen

and then stop and listen again.

What do you hear?

Really, the most important communication in this life isn't heard, and the greatest gifts from a heavenly father are unseen. The promises from God are not visible; his son, his spirit, his love; not perceived by the human eye, yet have full sway in my heart, and in the end they are the gifts which matters the most.

Hear what isn't being said. There is a distinct connection between "what I ask for" being answered, and listening. The power of the all wise creator is in my life as much as I permit him to be.

As you are going about your day today... I invite you to...

Stop

Then, Listen

Box Elder Bug Infestation

2009-08-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the proof, in case you don't believe me, when I say we have a mild problem with Box Elder bugs in our home. I feel as thought I have been placed with the Box Elder curse my days of living in Utah, just about every home I have lived in within the Greater Salt Lake Area has been infested with Box Elder bugs. The charming house in the avenues on 5th ave had them all through the winter, finding them in our sheeplike carpet. The house on 1st ave had them in the shower, and my condo on 9th East and 40th south suffered greatly in the kitchen area as they shoved themselves in the crack of the back door. Certainly summer they are at their peak, but they have no problem hibernating in your home in the winter and fall as well.

Much to my dismay our home in Bountiful is no exception to the Box Elder invasions, except, that it might be the worse than the other three homes combined. No joke! Really!!! In fact the picture from above is Box elders collected on the front porch after just 3 days of sweeping.

Micah mentioned it was bad when we got married, but I didn't trust they could be as insidious as I have previously experienced.

He proved me wrong.

In fact it has gotten so ridiculous, at one point I began to make a list of all the locations I have found Box Elder bugs in our home (dead and alive) where they absolutely have no right to be. These bugs, I ensure you, have NOOOOO BOUNDARIES!

Top 10 List of where we have found Box Elder Bugs where they shouldn't be:

10. Couch

(How dare you try to ruin my episode of watching 'The Office'!)

9. Rug

(not such a biggie except when you bury your body into the carpet fibers and my toes touch you as I walk)

8. Window

(this also isn't so gross, except the fact it isn't ONE but TWO bugs, and even worse, MATING!, Ewww, using my home to be an exhibitionist)

7. Yoga Mat

(you have now entered sacred territory, how dare you?)

6. Bathroom

(everywhere, floor, sink, toilet, ceiling, apparently your favorite hang out)

5. Mailbox

(ok, so it has gone to far when you leave your mating babies and poo on my mail)

4. Bed

(an even more sacred territory than the yoga mat)

3. Shower

(the entire reason for showering is to cleanse myself of you little dirty pests)

2. Lint Dryer

(don't ask me how this is even possible, now its gone beyond too far)

1. Toothbrush

(not just anywhere, but on the bristles that clean my teeth)

This means war! The box elder's will not win against man. Micah has shown his wonderful extermination skills thus far in controlling your population as you can see from the dead carcasses on the front porch. But after finding bugs in the above areas, and others unmentioned, Micah has decided to eliminate the source of these pesky creatures. In the month of September he will be chopping down our Box Elder tree in the front yard, no longer will these little pests cross boundaries they are not entitled to cross!!!

My very first review...

2009-08-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's true, my very first review of Connie's Cookies came by the lovely Jessica I met at the Summerfest 08. She was helping out with the Oak Pitt BBQ, and was delighted to stumble across the Gluten Free Cookies. Have a read and tell me what you think! Her review http://wasatchfronteatsout.blogspot.com/2009/08/connies-cookies.html.

"This too shall pass"

2009-08-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

So, I admit it, I have become a radio talk show junkie! I love to listen to Dr. Laura and Glenn Beck, because they focus on what is real and standing up for our values in this chaotic world. Dr. Laura is on as I prepare and bake cookies in the afternoon for the Farmers Market. Today, while baking and listening intently she read the email of the day, I can't quote it verbatim, but the theme of it was based on the biblical quote "This too shall pass..."

The writer of the email and Dr. Laura expressed how we often use that phrase "This too shall pass", when life is bad, or trials are abundant. It's a comforting thing to know that hard times will pass. But what they brought to my attention that I hadn't considered is that "This too shall pass" applies to not just BAD times but GOOD times as well. Do we cherish the good, because it too shall pass? We never know what tomorrow holds, are we grateful for what today is? As I consider that, I started to realize all of the wonderful, amazing experiences in life that I take for granted. It is hard to be grateful for them when thoughts are crowded with worrying about the past or future, that which you cannot control. I realized yet again, another reason why I love to practice yoga! It helps me to live more in the present moment. I am so grateful for every moment I have on this earth, to experience the good and the bad, it makes me who I am, it shapes me, and molds me, it infuses my soul with the fragrance of eternity.

What a privilege it is...

2009-08-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

This morning upon arising, I was crabby, ask Micah. It's true, somedays I wake up feeling tired, groggy, and like I got up on the wrong side of the bed. As I continued in my morning routine, I had to go for a fast run and yoga session before teaching the 9:15 Gentle Yoga class at Infusion. As I was running sluggishly a thought began to pop into my mind, a moment of inspiration. The thought was "What a privilege it is...". I thought what a privilege to run in the morning hours before the day has begun. What a privilege it is to move my body and feel the wind on my face.

My thoughts turned to Yoga, what a privilege it is to practice and teach yoga. What a privilege it is to offer the beautiful practice of mindfulness into people's lives. What a privilege it is to have received wonderful instruction and training to enable me to teach. What a privilege it is to have students eager to learn and share their practice.

As I went on to class, I wove the theme into the class, as an intention for the class, and we revisited this idea every few minutes while flowing in and out of poses. What a privilege it is to take an hour out their day to connect with their mind, body, and spirit. What a privilege to practice yoga?

Now I realize I have only addressed this privilege idea as it pertains to yoga, but thats the beauty of it, it bleeds into every aspect of our daily living. There are times when, like this morning, I fall into the "Wo is me.." syndrome. The "wo is me" is defined by feeling that you HAVE to do something rather than GET to do something. When "wo is me" sets in, we start to feel like our responsibilities in life are burdens, that "if only" I had this, or "if only" I had that, things would be better. We may start to see others as having more ideal lives, less responsibilities, and freer of burdens then ourselves. "Wo is me" starts small, little thoughts about how we could be better off. The problem with the "wo is me", is that when we give in to it, it grows bigger and bigger. Like a cancer it begins to eat away at our cells, our organs, our muscles, and our ability to function at a healthy capacity. Suddenly we no longer see things clearly, indeed the health of our "thoughts" is in jeopardy.

As a remedy for the toxic "wo is me" syndrome, I have used the sure proof remedy of "What a privilege it is." When a thought enters my mind that says "Wo is me", or leads to feeling sorry for my situation, I replace it by "What a privilege it is." The options are endless with "What a privilege it is....", as I realize the copious amounts of blessings and privileges I have in my life.

What a privilege it is to breath

What a privilege it is to move

What a privilege it is to be aware of myself (only humans do this, animals can not)

What a privilege it is to think

What a privilege it is to make decisions

What a privilege it is to learn

What a privilege it is to experience

What a privilege it is to love

What a privilege it is to have a family

What a privilege it is to have a job, even in a crappy economy

What a privilege it is to have so many conveniences in life others do not have

What a privilege it is to eat and nourish myself

What a privilege it is to be married, or single

What a privilege it is to have purpose

What a privilege it is to know my purpose

What a privilege it is to be a daughter of God

What a privilege it is to write and express my feelings

Truly, what a privilege it is.

So next time your mind falls into the "wo is me" category, and it will, its a part of life, replace it with "What a privilege it is".

Lessons from a 6 yr old

2009-08-16T22:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight my sister, Caren, and her adorable family came to visit us during their roadtrip to Utah. They have a sweet 6 yr old, Sixti, and entertaining 3 yr old, Jaxx,

and a beautiful little 7 month old baby, Stori.

It was delightful to have them visit as they live in California and we see them rarely. We spent time showing the kids the house, our spooky crawl space in the basement, our garden. They played on the piano, ate cookies, and picked out some hand made earrings. Sixti, at 6 years old does not have her ears pierced yet, but I still let her pick our a pair to wear when she does. Mom also took a pair as well, totaling 2 pairs for both Mom and Sixti.

At the end of their visit I decided to show Sixti how to make a pair, as I thought she would find it entertaining. I didn't have the intention of giving her the pair since she didn't yet have pierced ears, and had already received a pair to wear in the future. As it got time to go, she sat there realizing she could only take two pairs of earrings, one for mom, and one for her. She seemed to have grown very attached to the pair we had just made, with the stones she had hand picked. I told her she could swap them if she wanted. As we sat there for several minutes I could tell there was a feeling of worry and sadness on her face. She switched the pair but then held on to the original pair she had picked for herself. She knew she had to give one up and it seemed the most painful decision ever. As I observed her sadness I asked her mom if she could take them both, as I didn't want to be the one to break a little girls heart. Sixti had clearly exhibited with minutes of sincerely agonizing over the right pair to choose that it was more than just getting her way.

My sister and myself both influenced her to go with the original pair she had chosen, the ones for her. As we took the other pair of earrings back, everyone had left the house, and I noticed again the notable sadness in her face. I gave her an extra cookie, apple, and necklace to make up for the lack of earrings. As she went outside she let dad sweep her up and help her sadness. I asked my sister once again if I could let her have the other pair. Again mom said "Sixti, you don't have pierced ears yet, you don't need another pair." Sixti replied with tears in her eyes, "I didn't want to other pair for myself, I wanted to give them to Solei." At that moment it all became clear. It wasn't about getting two pairs of earrings for herself. She simply wanted to give this gift to Solei, her 7 yr old cousin, that she happens to just adore. I realized that the minutes of agonizing over which pair to take meant giving up either her own pair or a gift for her beloved cousin and friend. The thought of leaving without that gift was heart-wrenching. And what was more touching was that all the extra cookies and treats in the world for her, wouldn't make up for missing out on the gift she wanted to give to another. It wasn't a tantrum or an act of wanting, rather, a selfless loving heart that wants to give.

It made me think how the Savior must have felt, when he had to make the decision to be our Savior. I am sure it must have been agonizing to know that he would have to give up all his own desires and will. But at some point, he realized that everything that he could gain in the world for himself, would never match up to the priceless gift he could give another. He knew that according to God's plan, he couldn't have both. He realized that the happiness from giving far exceeded his own will, and he must have clung on to this when Satan tempted him by offering the whole world to him. Christ understood that any suffering or sacrifice he made would have far more eternal weight than gratifying his own immediate needs. He was the perfect example of giving. Christ gave the matchless gift, the gift that heals, the gift that lightens our burdens, the gift that is infinite, and the gift that gives us hope to overcome this world. I am so grateful for my sweet niece, Sixti, to remind me of this matchless gift, with her innocent, selfless, sacrificing nature. Greater love hath no man.

The key to my heart

2009-08-14T19:38:00.001-07:00

I have been searching for it all my life. In bakeries, in cafes, in restaurants, in desserts, in clothing, in yoga, in cookies, in finance, in food, in healthy, in friends, in relationships, in the indulgent, in times of the highest highs, and in times of the lowest lows. I have never given up the search to find the key to happiness. I have scoured the US, from NJ, to Georgia, to Logan, to Long Beach, to Salt Lake City, to the streets of NYC. I have been searching so long to find the key that will unlock it all.

What is IT? Happiness of course. Who knew that when I found it, it wouldn't like any of the things I like, it wouldn't love Ice Cream and Cookies the way I do. It would have a difference of opinion on many things. And most of all it would unlock the doors I didn't want unlocked. It wasn't what I expected. But it has done one thing that I hoped it would. It has unlocked my heart.

Cast your vote!!!

2009-08-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Today I drove home behind an oversized SUV, a Hummer, owned by Fat Cats, a bowling/fun center here in Utah, and plastered in a thick coat of Fat Cats branding.

Now I understand the need for marketing for any successful business to thrive, but a vehicle priced at $63,090, and averages 11.4 mpg, seems a bit excessive. I realize I am not the one to judge if a Fun Center really NEEDS a Hummer as their business vehicle, in fact the real beauty of capitalism is that businesses can DECIDE how they want to grow their wealth. The freedom to choose is the very principle that our country is built on, and I deeply honor that.

What concerns me is that, as a society, we seem to be making more and more greedy decisions. Have you ever noticed how oversized, expensive cars are usually owned by oversized individuals. Not all, but many I see driving around are as greedy in their business as they are in appetite. Is there any correlation?

Every decisions bears a cost. This is the fundamental rule of economics, and more importantly of God's plan. If we are greedy always wanting more, and even go into debt to get it, then it is really of no surprise our economy is in the shape it is. I think its a rather simple principle that the economy is a zero-sums game. That means if you take what isn't yours (debt), their is a cost involved, maybe it doesn't affect you directly, but it does affect the rest of us, when ultimately you take more that what you can pay for. I am not saying I am against successful corporations, if they become successful by doing things honestly, with sustainable methods their work should be rewarded. What I am saying is that couldn't Fat Cats have just as much, if not more marketing space on an EconoVan that is reconditioned? After all they could probably get one that the government is throwing away from the Cash for Clunkers program. That seems like a better utilization of resources to me, but apparently this is what a business like Fat Cats is after, big SUVS. It seems apparent to me they aren't putting profit back into making their customers more happy or bettering their facility themselves, but rather they are looking to make their image better and consuming more fuel than they need to in the process. After driving behind Fat Cats Hummer today, I am sorry to say I cannot give my hard earned dollars to a company that spends nearly a hundred grand for a vehicle to increase the dollar in their pocket or be trendy.

I have been intrigued with the dynamics of consumerism since childhood, fascinating at why my buying power holds, curious at the ability it has to sustain, grow, or tank a business. In college my degree was Family and Conumer Science: Family Finance emphasis. I worked in banking for 7 yrs helping other's get further into debt. I worked as a Financial Counselor, facilitating families and individuals how to get out of debt. I know instruct yoga where I encourage a healthy practice of the mind, body, and spirit as an integrated unit. In all these experiences I have learned that while I can't force someone to get out of debt, move their bodies more, eliminate stress, and eat healthy foods; I can make decisions each and every day of how I will spend my hard earned dollars. I can decide who I choose to support. I can decide who I want to stay in business, and I can decide where I tell my friends and family to go in support as well.

My husband probably thinks its silly, but when I find a product I like (and you can ask him), I usually go home and look them up on the Web, read about their business philosophy, and what there business ethics entail. This goes for something as little as a bag of chips, really!!! The same goes for restaurants, I love reading reviews, stories of how they got started, and other fun facts I find. To me how I spend my money is a vote to who and what I support. If I choose to spend money for greedy companies, then I continue to see oversized people in oversized SUV's riding around. I really hate that, because then, not only am I worried about the view obstruction of the road they impose, but also if the drivers causes an accident after going into cardiac arrest at any moment due to their unhealthy heart. I know I sound judgmental, but I just want to make the point that I support the little guys, the ones who work so hard for what they have and utilize resources efficiently to meet the needs of customers, not seeking to make their own pocketbook fatter.

I am not attacking Fat Cats, and truth be told I do not know their business all that well, I would need to do more research to make that assesment. But if I have to judge based on their decision to buy an oversized, inefficient, overpriced, brand new vehicle for a bowling alley, this seems to me like a poor decision in budgeting. And chances are, if they spend superfolous dollars in this fashion, then they probably make other unwise decisions, like skimp in wages, or quality. Everything is a trade-off, because business and economy is a zero-sums game. Since all I have is exterior on which to judge, I have to say no to such a business.

Several weeks ago Micah and I went to see FOOD, INC. I was very excited to see this film as I knew it would most likely espouse many of the same principles in which I believe and promote. I became fascinated with the food industry and small business in particular while living in NYC for 3 years. It was during my time there, where Walmart, Sam's Club, and corporations do not exist in nearly the abundance they do in suburbia, that I grew to love supporting the little guys. The organic grocer was more than my food provider, he was my friend. The scary bodega man always had what I needed at random hours while other shops where closed. The Crepes on Columbus owner is just a simple man who learned the art of crepes in France and now seeks to share with each one of his customers. I don't think I had ever gone to eat there where he didn't come out at some point in the meal and make certain we enjoyed our meals. The truth is the meal was pretty good, but the personal owner touch, sent it over the top. Souen's Macrobiotic restaurant, Hampton Chutney, and VanLeeuwan's Ice Cream stole my heart at first bite. All small business with an emphasis on the customer, relationship, quality of food, and sustainability in all aspects of their business.

Today I toured Sam Granato's bakery area. It was a moment for glutten eyes, as my dream is to open a bakery of my own. As we interacted for several minutes, and many other times in the past I realized there is something that sets Sam Granato apart from lots of other business owners. It's his constant turn on each remark to what HE can do for YOU. Sam is a man that loves people, its in his voice, in his actions, and most importantly in his heart. It is so easy to judge by his actions, he has pure intentions and he loves what he does. As we walked out he offered to help his cashier by getting him change (nickels and dimes) at the bank. Sam is never above doing anything, even if he's the boss. He ended the conversation as he usually does "Is there anything I can do for YOU?". Gosh, here the man is, after letting me see his bakery and offering to let me make cookies there, and he still wants to know how he can do to help me more. It's men like this we need to support, its businesses like this, with sustainable ethics and honest practices we need to support.

It is true once every four years we get to vote for a president, but we all know with electoral college how little it may sometimes do. Every other year we can vote for local officials. But every single day we vote for what businesses we support. While it seems a small decision, little decisions make up the great big ones after all, they determine outcome. As a consumer in a highly mechanized world we don't have the simplicity we once had of producing all our own food and goods. This make the everyday decisions more important. Look at the companies you support most often, the places you buy your food, the local producers. Support the hard worker of the farmers market (no bias here). Realize that price is not the bottom line, that where usually price is lower there may be something you sacrifice such as quality, or unethical business practice. If we want to change the world we have to make good votes, we have to be informed. Research your favorite companies, and find out if they remain your favorite. If they are good businesses let them know, let your friends know, and most importantly give them your vote by choosing their product.

As a extremely, extremely small business owner I have just began to see the most miniscule profit for Connie's Cookie. It filled me with exhilaration, elation, and sweet joy. I told my husband as soon as I was profitable the first thing I would buy was a $20 cooler, to fit more cookies in. My husband beat me to it because he wanted me to succeed. As much as I wanted this to be the first humble purchase of the business, out of the red, I couldn't turn away a gift of such gratitude. The summerfest was a much better event because of it. Whether or not Connie's Cookies grows to a level of sustainability in a full size bakery matters not. Whether or not it becomes a franchise and fills the world like a McDonald's matters not. Whether I can continue to grow a bakery successfully as a wife and mother matters not. What matters is that I honor the principle of sustainable, honest, ethical business practice. It matters that I buy only what I can afford, that I place a wonderfully amazing product into the hands of every wanting consumer. It should make you feel good to know that each dollar that supports these cookies supports yummy treats made of the finest ingredients, hand created, shaped, and baked with LOVE! Some people comment, on how they think the price is expensive. Well you can buy cheaper, sure, but remember their is a consequence to every decision. If you want a cookie made from shortening with trans-fats, high fructose corn syrup, and other stabalizers and preservatives I can't pronounce, then the packaged cheap stuff will always be there. I am pretty certain that other than the grocery stocker probably no hands have touched that cookie, it is probably all from a machine, and without the smallest concern of how it will treat your belly. Connie's Cookies are made to please the mind, body, and spirit. But really, would you expect anything less from a yoga Instructor, hehe!

This isn't an unpaid advertisement for Sam Granato and Connie's Cookies, but if I may let me digress to Sam for just a moment. He is running for US Senate nomination representing Utah in Nov 2010 election. My wonderful husband, Micah, is helping with the campaign. As I get to know Sam I realize that he really is a man for the people, he simply loves people, and would give the shirt off his back if he thought of it (or if you asked). I am not certain as to how he will do given he is running as a Democrat in Utah. And unfortunately some people just don't look beyond the label.

My point is regardless of how a company or person looks on the outside, dig deeper, do your homework, be informed. Then cast your vote as you will.

A SOLD OUT SHOW!!!

2009-08-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

I just want to take a moment to personally thank each and every beautiful cookie at Connie's Cookies at Summerfest 09' in Bountiful City Park. This weekend you proved your beauty, courage, attractive appeal, and bursting flavor to wow the visitors of the festival. You did so well, both individually and in your small groups packaged of 3, to land yourself into the mouths of many guests leaving not a single one of you to take home. In fact you sold out before the show was even over, 6:50pm on Sat, with 3 hrs to go!

While its painfully difficult as your creator to pass you into the hands of hungry mouths, the truth is, the more you get out there, the greater your likelihood for your population to never become extinct. In fact the sole purpose of your creation is for enjoyment and consumption. You have made me so proud! Let's take a looksie at the successful line-up!

The display!

The stars- Allstar Monster Chocolate Chunk, your super size chunks set you apart from the pack!

Double Mint, we could never do it without you, with the second in popularity, you are a HUGE mouth pleaser!

Triple Ginger Delight, you steal the show with your kick! And thanks for pleasing those that don't like chocolate.

Our sweet Everything Nice, to some you are a staple in their life, they couldn't do without your spice and Everything Nice (Oats, Raisins, Chocolate, Rice Crispies and more)!

Fresh from the Garden Zucchini, what? and you are Gluten-Free??? One bite and I just can't believe it! I adore you, I honor your, I bow to your existence!

And last but not least, my favorite, Triple PB Chocolate, the fusion of all great things, PB, Peanuts, sugar, PB Chips, Milk Chocolate, and best of all love!

A special thanks to our Gluten-Free variety's, you had several consumers you left speechless, and extraordinarily happy! They wonder if it is legal for you to tantalize their taste buds like you do. I tell them you were meant for pleasing, and that is what you'll do!

You make mom and dad proud!

You sold so well, this is what Micah thinks of not having any extra to take home and consume!

Fresh from the garden...

2009-08-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

Nothing makes me happier than watching, caring, loving, nurturing, admiring, and ultimately consuming a fresh little item from the garden. After 3 summers in NYC I discovered the only healthy patch of live green grass lied in central park along with the other millions of bodies that shared in it. As you might imagine, I was simply thrilled this year to have the opportunity to plant a small garden with my sweet hubby Micah in our spacious pastures.

I can think of no better way to honor mother earth than take advantage of the wonderful nurturing she provides in producing such lovely sustenance. We get so disconnected to food when everything we eat comes from a box, mix, or plastic bag. I think it becomes easy to forget that real food does ultimately come from the earth and what roams it. So this little garden is truly a humble, happy garden!

Before

After

and after the after! (Holy crap batman, those tomato plants have taken over!) (Not to worry Robin, they have fallen over at least 4 times in the storms, they pose no threat!)

Overgrown seeding lettuce

Our first and second zucchini (My Gluten Free cookies thank you!)

A cornucopia of little treasures!

The apple tree produces cute little guys, but bitter to the taste, showcased in the fabulous pink/green stoneware I bought at summerfest! (In my humble opinion, green and pink is the fusion of perfection in color! I mean really does it get any better?)

And with all these colorful, beautiful veggies to consume I love the fact that a serving of vegetable hasn't changed for Micah!

Micah is on the left, me on the right!

Thanks Halling's for sharing your lettuce!

And after working on our little garden we were still eager enough to work a bit on our landscaping!

And yes, I know its humble, but it sure beats the hot glued snowflakes and flowers in my mothers front yard (yes your heard me right, snowflakes, and yes it is hot glued onto the branch), I suppose we do have the benefit of it not dying...

I love life

2009-08-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

and all it has to offer. Really, is this real, sometimes I feel like, wow, pinch me, is this real?

yes people, I am merely relishing on the fact that reality, as I know it, is great.

Really and truly when I think about everything I've experienced, life is just great and I love it! That doesn't mean it is easy, or without storms, it doesn't mean it is like my neighbors life, or my sisters life, or my best friend's life. It doesn't mean I have lots of money, worldly success, or that I've accomplished all I would like too.

What I do know however, is that life, in and of itself, with all the wonderful glorious moments, sad times, and simple experiences is great. It fills me wonder and awe. I am blessed.

January 3, 2007 I had a pivotal moment in my life, I decided to never make a decision based on fear. I decided to live a life based on love, love of life. I have two small clips on youtube that capture how this decision has shaped my life: http://blog.bitterphotography.com/2009/02/connie-micah-slideshow.html andhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMlZTecc_Y8

Avoiding Annoying Experience

2009-07-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

Today is Pioneer Day, and I went running upon arising. This is a typical event as I do it most mornings, but this morning I had to run a bit faster in anticipation of my yoga friends meeting in my backyard for a yoga session. As I went on my merry way I encountered not ONE, but TWO small dogs that seemed to find me in THEIR territory. Both yapped trying their best to intimidate me with those loud barks that little dogs produce. One even nipped at my heals attempting to instill more fear. Neither dog was what I consider to be cute, just small. Both dogs ran off after their moment of being heard. (Below is Ginger, he wasn't either of the small dogs I encountered today, and he is extremely cute)

Upon returning home from my run encountering the small dogs, came the arrival of my yoga buddies. Shortly after I began teaching our backyard session, a bee found me in what he considered to be his territory. Again, much like the small dogs, he didn't seem to want to leave me alone. He lingered long enough to interrupt our session, buzz in my ears, face, and chest. Eventually he left, and the session went on. Not more than two hours later as Micah and I hiked to Waterfalls Canyon in Ogden I encountered bee number TWO. He was more frustrating than the first, this time heading for my mouth, nose, and any other body orifice he could find. He left, just as the first, but not without the struggle and irritation.

Two small dogs, two buzzing bees, one day. I can only think of one word to describe the dogs and the bees - ANNOYING. No other word quite captures the essence of what these creatures present to me. Neither post any real threat or danger. After all what is the worst they could do? Bite or sting. A dog bite and bee sting are easily overcome in the bigger scheme of things. But as I come to ponder a bit on the dogs and bees in our life, I'd like to compare it to experience.

There are all types of experience - fun, enlightening, peaceful, thrilling, loving, kind, gentle, exciting, passionate, dramatic, frightening, upsetting, awful. Some of these experiences we seek for over and over, others we avoid like the black plague. I realized that in the past few years I have become more open to inviting experience rather than avoid, to seize the moment the watch the clock. This has produced a lot of wonderful things in my life, swinging from a trapeze, baking lots of cookies, teaching lots of yoga, marrying someone really great. But all that said there are experiences probably daily that seem to exist only to take me off my path. Perhaps like the dog or bee they are there to veer my off the task at hand. Such experiences do not seem to hold any profound truth, hold any earth shattering epiphanies, teach an impactful lessons, or tell any amazing stories. They seem to exist simply to annoy.

Sometimes I try to avoid annoying experience. Oftentimes I expend much more energy in the avoiding of it that the pain of experiencing it. And after all if I would have avoided such experience today I would have missed out on a beautiful run, a peaceful yoga session, and amazing hike to waterfall. Avoiding annoying experience sometimes leads to missing out on the breathtaking experience just around the corner.

Sometimes the annoying experience is annoying people. Yes, they exist in a plethora of ways, but they don't really always have our annoyance as their goal. They might actually, like the dogs and bees, be acting out of fear for their territory, ego in their bark, or revenge in their sting. But they can't do much more than a small bite or sting which can't do much to damage us permanently.

Annoying experiences are just that - annoying. I am pretty certain they aren't going away anytime soon, they have their place in life. I have decided however that I will not give in to the energy it demands to avoid them, the thought it takes to analyze them, the frustration it takes to encounter. I just accept them, annoying and all. Isn't life great?

Time

2009-07-22T22:00:00.001-07:00

There are times I like.

There are times I admire.

There are times I adore.

There are times I love.

There are times it seems to all make sense.

There are times I understand.

There are times I know.

There are times when I don't know, I trust.

There are times I imitate.

There are times I integrate.

There are times I innovate.

There are times I inspire.

There are times I want others to feel what I feel.

There are times I give because I can't imagine not.

There are times I hope to touch the life of another.

There are times beyond my own doing.

Such moments are small and simple,

Sometimes overlooked if I am looking for grandiose,

Such moments weave together as the tapestry of my life.

Such moments occur, and TIME doesn't exist.

Flour Footracks

2009-07-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

I am not sure who is playing in the All-Purpose, Pastry, and Bread Flour, but I do remember that Ryan Simmons got a second date out of Kimberly Calder by giving her a basket of Flours.

I love Flours, all types. I love to mix and match flours for different blends of protein, taste, texture, and flour fun.

I love flour, gluten free, gluten full, there is no bad type of flour.

In fact Flour is such a staple in our home we have over 200 lbs of it. Thats a lot of cookies.

Freedom of love...

2009-07-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

Freedom and love, how do the two coexist? 2008 was the year of Freedom, 2009 the year of Love. I found this past weekend on our voyage to the less inhabited places of our country that both coexist in perfect harmony. It is such a beautiful reminder that mother nature knows how to adorn her beautiful creation of Earth without unnatural methods, chemicals, and/or mandmade interventions. In blissful harmony she adorns it with wildflowers (red and blue in honor of 4th of July),

lovely creatures,

tall trees,

rushing waterfalls,

mountains, slopes, peaks, and meadows.

I came to a realization yet again about the nature of our lives this past weekend. While it is necessary that we train and refine ourselves to become mature responsible adults in this world, there is still something significant in letting go, in letting your hair down, in not showering for a few days, in giving up the cell phone, the blog, the email, the internet. There is something healing in hearing only the sounds of birds, water, wind, rain, and laughter of our friends. There is beauty in spending the unstructured time with family, whether it be Uno, walking the nameless puppy,

or preparing tasty meals on the campfire.

There is a profoundness in simplicity. It is som etimes more complex to find simplicity in our lives then to keep them constantly busy.

I found for many years that I found solace in constantly going, never stopping, always finding one activity to bleed into the next. While this made for a nice way to soak up time, I realized that I never left time to ponder, to reflect, to sit back, and to enjoy the splendor of this magnificent earth. As I went on with this lifestyle for sometime, I realized I wasn't leaving space in my life for the things that really mattered. Time to just be.

This past weekend as we celebrated the birth of our country, and honored of our freedoms I was deeply reminded of the significance of this - time to just be.

When I was a girl one of my favorite songs was a primary song 'My Heavenly Father Loves Me'. The words are so sweet and tender I want to share them as they run through my mind.

Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or look at the blue, blue sky,

Whenever I feel the rain on my face, or the wind as it rushes by,

Whenever I touch a velvet rose, or walk by our lilac tree,

I'm glad that I live in this beautiful earth, Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see, the color of butterfly wings.

He gave me my ears that I might hear, the magical sound of things.

He gave me my life, my mind, my heart; I thank him reverently.

For all his creations, of which I'm a part,

Yes I know Heavenly Father loves me.

Summertime reunions are sweet...

2009-07-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

Summertime is wonderful, it's a time we get to visit some of our most favorite people. My dear friend Rebecca Walters has been out and about in the south, NC and Texas, for the last several years building her family. Since our days at Utah State our visits are few and far between, but so very cherished. She has two little ones, Sydney and Talmage, that make the world a happier place. We got to reunite on Sunday, and now the third (and necessary) approval is complete on my choice of husband. Thanks Rebecca, I do love you!

Several weeks ago we had another sweet reunion. My father was Bishop of the Ledgewood Ward in NJ about 25+ years ago. I was a baby so my recollection is weak, but it turns out that AJ Baerga, now in our Bountiful ward, was baptized in the Ledgewood ward at the age of 16, while Dad Clegg was bishop. Mom and Dad got to visit with AJ nearly 25 years later. What a small world, we love it!

Connie's Cookie Paradise in Bountiful

2009-06-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

It is only suiting that the land of Good and Plenty in Bountiful, UT, is the first home to sell this cookie pillow delights. This is the beginning of a Cookies Baker's Dream. Soon I hope to offer them as you sit on a cloud lavishingly relaxing with a cookie in both hands. As for now the Bountiful Farmers Market is turning out as a sell-out situation on the first go around. Mom and cookies couldn't be happier. I love all you that believe in dreams, they really do come true, one cookie at a time...

and I couldn't do it without my right hand man...

My favorite flavor, although they are all my favorite would have to be the

TRIPLE PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE.

I stumbled across this recipe on celiac.com, and with a few tweaks and addition of milk chocolate, dry roasted peanuts, and reeses chip, I can't think of a better PB cookie out there. The best part, or the part that doesn't matter to you, it's Gluten-Free. (Sorry for those with Peanut allergies)

Sweet Fathers...

2009-06-21T20:47:00.001-07:00

As I reflect this Fathers Day on the influence my earthly father has had on me, what comes to mind is some of the things he has taught me...

Top 10 List of what my father has taught me....

10. To be on time

9. To be self-reliant

8. To memorize Articles of Faith and Scriptures

7. To save and avoid debt

6. To pray alone and with my family

5. To listen to Beach Boys early Saturday Morning.

4. To stretch a dollar in NYC.

3. To be committed to church, work, and school.

2. To give to others that have less.

1. To honor and love my family.

Happy Fathers Day to all you wonderful Fathers!

Unconditional Love...

2009-05-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

Unconditional love - to love others regardless of their behavior towards you. This includes yourself.

This week in Yoga classes the theme has been the 'anahata' or Heart Chakra. Anahata means literally 'unstruck sound'. They say we can receive inspiration in our

mind and our heart. I challenged the students to listen more with their heart since it often gets neglected, not giving it enough attention. The heart speaks softly, as an 'unstruck sound'. The heart chakra houses 'nada', translated 'the pulse of life'. For an organs that dictates our ability to live, couldn't we benefit from listening to it more.

This leads me to taking my own challenge and listening to what my heart is telling me. My heart yearns to express my love to those I have had the opportunity to care most deeply for, those I only wish to someday love unconditionally...

Disclaimer: I recognize the immensity of the task to list each person with which I have come in contact and with whom I desire to love unconditionally, but I will listen to my heart and mind to recall just a few.

Gods I love: Only one, the supreme being that guides our lives

Husbands I love: Micah

Parents I love: Almon and Janis Clegg

Siblings I love: Diann, Carl, Brenda, Sherlene, Lynette, Caren, Sharon

Family I love: Nick, DeLite, Layne, Randy, Neil, Jeremy, Nate, Nicholas, Daisy, Spencer, Tomina, Naomi, Jenalyn, Rebekah, Carly Ann, Caleb, Max, Kendall, Landon, Asher, Quincy, Emily, Nicole, Trevor, Conner, Porter, Stone, Piper, Cruz, Sixti, Jaxx, Stori, Solei, Axel, Lennox, Karen, Kirt, Alec, Krystal, Megan, Gavin, Vern, Launa, Alene, Grant, Cal, Dennis, Dawn, Janice, Lavar, Evelyn, June, Marie, Melanie, Ty, Debbie, Sue, and the list goes on...

Teachers I love: Alan, Jean, Jody, Paula, Marcos, Rama, Lisa, Corena, Mark, God again, personal spirit and so many more

Friends I love: Staci, Anna, Deb, Rebeccah, Sarah, Kellie, Amie, Kimberly, Tamara, Stacia, Rachel, Rachelle, and the list goes on forever....

Yoga Students I love: Carol, Carolyn, June, Kay, Midori, Lisa, Rhonda, Sonia, Janeel, Connie, Morris, Ann, Sue, Janine, Jim, Cindy, Tamara, Leisl, Sherrie, Layton, Kevin, Linda, Sophie, and so many, many, many, many more....

I love you, I seek to love unconditionally, I desire to do more, be more, love more, listen more. From my heart to yours, namaste.

I love bicycles & mothers...

2009-05-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

(Singing)I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.

I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike...

(belting slowly, annunciating each syllable at the top of my lungs), BI-CY-CLE, I love to ride my bike.....

These are the words that echo in my mind as I reflect upon my younger years of learning to ride a bike. My brother, Carl, used to sing this little Queen-esque jingle, and then he would end it with calling me Banana legs on behalf of my easily bruised legs.

Do you want the truth about my history with bicycles? Well it isn't much different then my history with men. I grew up on a very busy street, one with few sidewalks, blind curves every way you look, and danger zones on every corner. Not only was it a busy and dangerous but two experience further tainted my view of my street. In kindergarten I was hit by a truck while crossing the street, due to a truck failing to yield to the bus stop sign. Not a year later my older sisters friend entered our driveway on a bike too fast from the street. She couldn't take the corner and smashed our rock wall and was nearly killed. Due to this danger my parents decided that riding in the driveway was

the only thing permissible. Now granted it was a spacious driveway, but come-on circles in a driveway gets old quick. Adding fuel to the fire, being the youngest of 8, I was lucky to have a less than par hand-me-down for a first bicycle. So not every kids dream to ride an old unfitted bike in countless lame circles on a dangerous street. Now I can see why my brother resorted to a unicycle.

May 2, 2009 changed that. I have finally for the first time in my short 31 years have received a bicycle. I don't have any of the obstacles I had as a child, no dangerous street, no bad incidents as of yet, no driveway circling, and best of all, no lack of not having a cool bike. I almost feel as though I have received everything in life one could hope for. I mean what more could make you whole than a super cool woman inspired bicycle. I now have less awkward legs long enough to reach the petals and no more bruises banana legs.

I love life. I love my bicycle.

Today my bike took me to Yoga class in the am, to lymph drainage massage after, and to Assisted Living Center to see the sweetest old yogies around! Bike has become to me: confidence builder, Yoga promotor(perhaps I should get a sign), leg sculptor, and style producer in her minty green hue.

I am grateful for my legs.

I am grateful for my mother. She teaches to me to focus on what I can do, NOT what I can't do. This makes me happy!

To all green bikes and wonderful mothers everywhere, I love you!

The beauty of men and women....

2009-05-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Hail to all pink bicycle helmets everywhere! After realizing that my mother-in-law had to search the entire Wasatch front just to find one, I realize all the more how precious the color PINK really is!

So is it true what they say, men and women really are two very different creatures, even from different planets? I have learned from my short 3 1/2 months of marraige, that girls like PINK easy bake ovens, and men like green lawns. At least this is the case for me. Currently my two most prized possessions other than my husband: PINK kitchenaid mixer, and PINK helmet. I think the reason I love them so much is because they lead to two of my current favorite activities: baking cookies and bike riding.

Tonight I came from teaching yoga class to find Micah, entrenched in cleaning the garage. Yesterday he set up our patio outside and grilled some dinner. All month he has been working on getting the lawn as lush and green as every other Bountiful yard to keep up with. While it might not seem it, I think this fella' has a real love for GREEN. He might not be green conscious but he sure likes to make his little patch on earth as alive as it comes, chemicals, sprays, endless water and all!

Connie loves pink, Micah loves green! I love the differences between men and women, for years I pretended that I wanted to make my cake and mow the lawn too. The truth is I don't want to mow the lawn, I never have wanted to mow (ok, other than that one time in highschool they paid me $40), and I don't think unless I have too, that I ever WILL want to mow the lawn!

So here is where both elements unite, AKA Pink meets Green and they get along. After Micah completed his garage cleaning extravaganza he utilized his little green turf for mint green Bike and PINK helmet. Indeed miracles do happen; men and women can live in harmony!

I have come to peace with this knowledge, and I honor that part of me that says 'I don't want to work, I just want to bake cookies all day!'. I am completely at one with the universal law that says women are great at some things and men are good at others. I am starting to understand why these two creatures from different planets are meant for each other. After all, I would hate to have a beautiful yard without a beautiful meal waiting inside of the house it is attached too with pretty flowers and fresh baked goodies.

In fact, I would hate to have to do this whole life thing alone. I am grateful I don't have too. In fact, I think back to single life not far gone and I realize even then I never had to do it alone. I was never ever once alone. God was always the best man I had in my life, and always will be. He gives me a life of balance, helping me at times to get my off my femi-nazi high horse and bring me down to where I should be, Planet Earth. In fact that father of mine loves me so much he sent a physical reminder of himself to continue to humble me each day.

So pink KitchenAid mixers and pink helmets. Living proof that:

Dreams can come true, Dreams do come true. Never ever give up hope of your dream!

What will come next in pink? Babies? One can only hope...

So much love to you and pink.